17 April 2006

Cutting Back

My life is busy. Not overwhelmingly so, but enough to make me crazy. Enough that, by Friday, I just want to sit and stare -- at walls, the tv, the ceiling, whatever. Enough that I feel braindead most of the time, now, unless I exert an enormous amount of effort.

So, I've recently decided to start making adjustments. It's not going very well so far. The issue is that Monday through Thursday evening, I am always booked. I'm sure lots of people have busy lives, but I just don't enjoy it. I need time to myself. Otherwise I get cranky and down and breaindead, and all those other things.

So, the first thing to go will be massage therapy. It will be sad, because it makes me feel better. I just need to reclaim that night, and I can't go during the day. But now I give it up to other obligations. Sure, some of them are social, but I still need time to me.

I'm going to cut back on trivia night, as much fun as it is. Tomorrow will be Jaye's last night, and with Lindsay's new responsibilities, she won't be there as often. Katherine and I will still go, but I need to cut it back -- maybe I'll go every other week.

I might move yoga to the weekend when the new session starts. Yoga is a great way to start the week, but it's also another night when I don't get home as early as I'd like.

Thursday is always the day I use for everything else I don't have time for. If I have nothing else to do, I start the staring early.

I don't know if this is "woe is me" whining or if it's something to be legitimately concerned about. I know there are lots of ways to reduce stress, but it's not just stress that gets to me. At least, it doesn't feel that way. It feels more like pressure, or a sense of being overwhelmed. Maybe I'm being naive and it's all the same thing, but it just feels different than when I had a major essay due, or when I'm approaching a deadline at work.

I'm hoping that my upcoming vacation (I leave in a month!) will help. But I also hope that I can gain some control over my life and give myself more time to breathe through the week.

I'm open to suggestions.


Me said...

I know what you mean about time for yourself. In November I started playing in a band on Sunday nights. Sunday night rehearsals SUCK. I dreaded going. Although I really enjoyed playing when I finally got there - I really didn't look forward to it. EVER. So I dropped out of the band. Sundays are now nights for long, drawn out dinners, evening runs/walks, and of course, the love of my life Kenny Vs. Spenny. Er...I mean...Jamie. :)

haitch pee said...

here here. your post makes me think that i'm always making decisions about what to do/not do based on having time to sit around picking my nose (my new favorite way to say "do nothing" "watch tv" "read trashy novels/magazines or even more literary ones".

So for example,I was irritated with myself for not "doing more" last year. But i also had a great year in a lot of ways, because I had time to be social for the first time... in a while (my year away it was hard to be social when i never knew anyone). And I was still pretty happy when doing the course because it was manageable.

And now this year i'm somewhat irritated with myself for "only" doing school but the fact is, school + having time to stay sane (even if i don't always stay as sane as i like) = much easier to function.

SO my point I suppose is that I also completely understand and that it's really really important to not just save your "you" time for sunday morning. If that's how *you* work.

tarma said...

i keep thinking i'd like to take up yoga or tai chi or something like that to reduce stress...but i have a toddler and thus have a different time issue to deal with. frankly i just go to bed when he does (8ish) and read for an hour. i do try to keep my reading very light and see that as my destressing time. it's funny though...you talk of cutting back on planned stuff to reduce stress while i'm thinking of adding planned stuff to reduce stress. maybe it always looks better from the other side (which would mean, i suppose, that the stress is coming from elsewhere...)