10 January 2006

It's Over

Christmas has come and gone again. And with it goes the now-perennial debate over the political-correctness of wishing someone "Merry Christmas".

It's too bad that our mass attention span lasts 6 weeks or less.

I'd blame the 24-hour cable news networks, but after repeated 24-hour segments of the same stuff, I'd want them to change the subject, too. Oh, wait. I can still blame them.

Yes, it's two weeks later, but I still miss Christmas. It was hard this year. And really weird. I was officially a "guest" for the first time in 26 years of Christmas. Even when I was at Acadia, I was home every weekend, so I was there to help with the preparations; the baking, the decorating, the planning, the shopping, the fighting....

This year I arrived the evening of Christmas Eve Eve, did last minute baking, slept (not), did getting-ready-for-party stuff, went to Andrew's, went to church, went home for Christmas Eve party, slept (not), got up, opened presents, ate brunch with family, prepared for Christmas dinner, hosted dinner, slept (not), and then the crying started.

From Boxing Day to New Year's Day, I cried. Not constantly, but regularly. The day after Boxing Day was the worst. That's the day I finally went back to my condo and I cried pretty much all day. I was feeling so lonely and... out. I think I avoided people most of the day. I didn't have the words to describe what was wrong. I still don't. I'm still a little sad. Many good friends say it's due to going through a lot of change all at once. This is possible. However, that still doesn't feel like it gets to the root of it.

Today, the problem is compunded. Actually, this has been on my mind for a couple of days: Today is the two year anniversary of Tripper's death. That's not a fun thing to remember. It came up with my grandfather over Christmas. It was a simple comment: "I misses Tripper. It's quiet without him." Christmas really is one of the times when I'm most aware of his absence. He loved Christmas. Now, in his little doggy head, I don't know how it seemed to him, but to us it seemed like he loved the presents, he loved the activity, he loved the food, and he loved that the whole family was there to celebrate. Maybe I was projecting just a little. :P

So, I feel a little sad and crazy and not sure how to come out of it, short of an all-expenses-paid vacation to a tropical location. My boss doesn't seem very willing to comply. Any suggestions?

1 comment:

Me said...

When I come home in March you and I can have a Christmas Party. I'll pack my Santa hats and we can watch A Christmas Story and drink egg nog and make gingerbread cookies. It'll be another Christmas - but in March. ;)