11 May 2005

What to do?

Some may disagree, but I think I'm generally good at butting out of something when it's none of my business. Of course, determining whether something is or is not my business tends to be a little trickier for me.

When there's a friend involved, I sometimes forget that my Concern isn't the same thing as my actual Involvement in the scenario.

I'm not sure if it's arrogance, or ignorance. I don't really feel that I'm necessarily better than anyone at solving disputes or other problems, just that I have insight that someone else may have overlooked. And considering how people get when in stressful situations, I'm not completely wrong in thinking that. But that still doesn't mean that I should butt in.

Is there a standard that I'm unaware of? How does one determine when is or isn't a good time to interfere (which isn't always a bad verb) in someone's life?


Branflakes said...

I've never figured out the answer to that problem. I avoid the situation by not having friends. ;-)

...I kid, I kid. It's really tough to say what the parameters are where you should just butt out and keep your opinion to yourself. I've generally found I'm not as good at it as I'd like, and I'm trying to stay out of peoples' business more now.

Jac of Spades said...

I don't know that there's an objective standard. I think that it requires an understanding of each individual friend's level of desire (or regard) for your input. We all have those friends to whom our opinion means everything. Then there are those who say "When I want your opinion, I'll ask for it." Still others who are blunt enough to say "When I want your opinion, I'll tell you what it is."
My only suggestion is to always begin by asking whether or not the person wants to hear your thoughts and insights. Usually a friend will want to know, but it gives them ownership of receiving it when it's not forced on them.

Fek said...

Get involved if you actually care. Thats the formula.