I'm so tired of reading and hearing about people who scream from the rooftops that This is how it needs to be, and that alternatives will only lead to the downfall of society, the family, government, school, etc.
Here's what I want: I want to be able to make up my own mind. I want to be able to marry a woman, or get an abortion, if I so choose. I don't want someone descending from some high moral pillar to chastise me and tell me that I'm wrong and that I don't know what's good for me. I don't care if those morals are based in religious beliefs or biology or "I woke up last Wendesday and decided This."
As I said to Robyn, I'm not trying to be judgemental -- I'm trying to point out that I have a right to my beliefs without being dismissed, pitied, or derided.
I don't want to tell other people that they're wrong and I'm right. I don't want to dig through mountains of "evidence" for one side or the other. I just want it to be okay for me to believe what I believe. And yes, it's fine for other people to believe what they believe -- but I do have a caveat; I don't think that it's a valid cultural or religious argument to advocate any belief that oppresses or abuses someone else.
I'll whip out the New York Times for this back up:
"I was collecting firewood for my family when three armed men on camels came andThat's a 16 year-old girl in Sudan, as quoted in an April 6th editorial by Nicholas D. Kristof.
surrounded me. They held me down, tied my hands and raped me, one after the
other. When I arrived home, I told my family what had happened.
"They threw me out of home, and I had to build my own hut away from them. I was engaged to a man, and I was so much looking forward to getting married. After I got raped, he did not want to marry me and broke off the engagement because he said I was now disgraced and spoilt. ...
"When I was eight months pregnant from the rape, the police came to my hut and forced me with their guns to go to the police station. They asked me questions, so I told them that I had been raped. They told me that as I was not married, I will deliver this baby illegally.
"They beat me with a whip on the chest and back and put me in jail."
That's a culture war. And I consider the motivations invalid because they are destructive, not just to an isolated population, but to many people, possibly all.
I don't really get how that's judgemental, but apparently it is. So, all this time and effort I've been putting into trying to look at opposing points of view and looking at things from multiple angles have been wasted. Really, I've been dismissing, invalidating, and imposing all along, so I should just jump on the bandwagon and stop trying to build bridges.
"I know what I believe and I have my reasons. Everyone else is wrong and stupid, and it's my job to show them the error of their ways."
I guess that's as pointless a battle as the one I've been fighting. Asking to be understood and accepted seems like a lot less to expect of people, but it doesn't seem to work.
So, I'm wrong. And you know what? I'm okay with that.