So, maybe I wasted five years of my life, maybe I didn't. Specifically, maybe I inflicted myself to two years of near Hell, maybe I didn't.
No experience is wasted, right? Right?!
My teaching "career" is over. Ostensibly.
I may eat my words in June if this EM contract doesn't get extended....
My last sub day was Friday. I taught the computer geeks again, and was reminded of how boring subbing is. The upside was that I was finished at 11:30, and the teacher I was in for advised me to go home and enjoy the day.
And that was it. Very unceremoniously, the 2004/2005 segment of my teaching career is over, and is a strong signal that it could be quite a while before I step into a classroom again. The teachers who call me regularly are disappointed. And I'm sad to disappoint them. But I don't think they understand how hard it is for new teachers. They see the new Ed grads parade in year after year all with the same aspirations. They see the new grads become old subs, looking anywhere and everywhere for a term contract. And when they finally make probation, they take subjects there weren't trained to teach just to secure that job and make it permanent. That's a broken system, and I'm not sad to have escaped it. The disenchantment is too strong.
I am sad that I gave up on it so quickly, and that my dream barely passed muster with reality.