23 January 2005

Sometimes, all you need is a good swift kick in the --

Or maybe a punch. In this case, that's what it took.

I firmly believe that there are no coincidences. I've said it before, I'll say it again: There are no coincidences.

I guess Amanda has been floating through my mind quite a bit recently. A couple of weeks in a row I considered inviting her to various social engagements. As recently as Friday, I wanted to invite her to (Foo's bf) Duncan's gig, but chickened out.

And so, I wasn't really surprised when the phone rang this afternoon and it was her.

I can't give the long story. It hurts too much right now. Bottom line, her bf punched her in the head last week during an argument. And that's what it took. Again, she says it's the end. She was driving to her friend's house in a raging blizzard (I exaggerate not) to leave him. She has until the end of the month to move her stuff out (as long as she's not there when he is). She has asked her Dr. for a referral to a counsellor. She went apt-hunting this week and found a place that she likes. She's hoping to be able to stay with her cousin until then.

I have no idea how to react. I should be really, really happy and relieved. But I'm just too scared that it's not going to stick. She's been this close before, and each time she's gone back.

Marked differences include telling her Dr. about it, not leaving in the heat of the moment (although a blizzard is just as dramatic), and her calm resolve (and apparent understanding) that she just can't live like that anymore.

Unfortunately, I have a year of history that contradicts her intentions.

I feel selfish for doubting her, and feeling bad about this. I was supportive on the phone for her, and my usual "It'll be okay" self. But I'm not going to feel better until she actually moves into a new place of her own. I can't relax until then.

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