25 September 2004


I know this is taking an inordinate amount of time to talk about my piddly three-week vacation. Some of you might be wondering, "Does she not at least have a personal life to blog in between episodes?"

Well, there lies the problem. LIFE is happening. And it's tiring.

To use a catastrophic example (as is my specialty), I spent 36 of the past 60 in crisis-solving mode, and before that was suffering great and bountiful physical pain.

I'll start with the pain. My uterus hates me. It is a loathing that stands the test of time. Think Bush-Hussein level hatred. Multiply by a factor of 23. Thus is my pain.

I spent 40 of the past 45 months on Depo-Provera, a progesterone-only contraceptive injection. It's motto, "4 times a year" was a God-send. Not only was I relieved of the horrible pain associated with my menstrual cycle, I was also relieved of the cycle itself. Period-free living was my personal salvation.

Unfortunately, one of the side-effects became a rather nasty cystic acne problem that also resulted in much of my time on Depo running with a concurrent course of antibiotics.

In consultation with my gynecologist, I started an alternative therapy of continuous birth control pill (for those who don't know, one normally takes 21 days of pills, and then takes 7 off for "mother nature"). But, after more thought, I decided to give it a try. My first period in 3.5 years.

What a mistake. I spent the better part of 36 hours doubled over in pain; unable to to move, needing Extra-strength Tylenol just so I could get to the bathroom.

Finally, I called my gynecologist in tears, wailing, "I can't live like this!" She said to start the pill again immediately, and ordered an ultrasound. Good news, the pain might be due to something abnormal and there could be a cure. Bad news, my body could actually hate me this much. In either case, there will be serious discussions about natural body function + optimal pain mangagement.

(That was supposed to be the short story, so I'll wrap this up quickly.)

The 36 hours of crisis-solving included a dear friend of 11 years who is in an abusive relationship with her boyfriend of 5 years (the physical abise being only 4 months old). She almost found the courage to leave him yesterday, and if it was for the damn post-hockey game traffic, I might have been able to solidify her resolve. Unfortunately, my herculean efforts to get to her before her boyfriend tracked her down meant that he had a chance to talk her back before I reinforce her decision.

It might not have been that easy, but I would have loved the chance to try.

The result is that the emotional roller-coaster of thinking that she might do right by herself coupled with the disappoint of her not, has resulted in extreme fatigue for me, and a couple of sleepless/restless-sleep nights.

Coupled with this is growing disenchantment of the teaching system, mad desire to have my "summer" job turn into something concrete, lasting, and ambition-satisfying; plus many happy days of the return of Foo, and a feeling of general contentedness that I am an agent of my own life.

Some draining days make me appreciate the sane friends I have, and quiet time in between.

Note: The next couple of weeks involve me working 12 days straight, and the a break for a wedding before making a trip to Toronto to see Nayana off -- from the country. No blogging guarantees, but I make mental note that it would be nice to tell about Munich before Toronto (finish blogging about one vacation before taking another...).


auroranine said...

Ah, your story about 'mother nature' has given me even more reason to keep my 6 years on Depo going!

Anonymous said...

hey, i was happy with your posting every once in a while. :) i want to see some more of your pictures however.. and sorry about the depo thing, had no idea it could do that.. kinda nasty actually. hopefully it can be corrected by a doc.

Jenni said...

You are going to Toronto? Oh ya, you told me you might do that. I remember now, something about driving her car up.

So you are working non-stop for 12 days eh? So you likely do not want to take Saturday night and go see Matt Mays and El Torpedo than? I am going to be in the city this weekend. A weekend of a debauchery awaits.

Me said...

I'm bored of your trip. Tell me about this life that keeps on happening. :)