30 June 2004

No blog for you!!

I'm in Europe for 3 weeks. I'm in Prague now. Yea!!

Blogging won't happen. See you in July!

24 June 2004

Bush questioned over CIA leak

In the words of that genius songwriter, Matthew Good: About time.

19 June 2004

Okay, here's the deal....

I'm tired of stupidity. I've never enjoyed it, but lately, I've been downright loathsome of it.

I'm guilty of it too. I've been absolutely horrible to myself as of late. I think it stems from a recent, rather rapid and untimely (is there ever a convenient?) weight gain. Not a ton. But enough so that most of last year's summer clothes don't fit, and my regularly baggy pants are baggy no longer. I had to dispose of my favourite pair of nice pants because every time I put them on, my mother would ask, "Are they ripped?" because of the way the zipper was stretched across my pelvis. Of course, I'm unemployed, so I can't go out and get new clothes at whim, because there will be no paycheck to pay off the credit card bill. Vicious cycle ensues.

But, as was pointed out to me by a family friend, I'm not fat. I don't look fat to the general public. I may have the odd little fat roll, but I don't have love handles, or saddlebags, or spare tires, and it's nothing that a diet and exercise adjustment won't fix.

I heard a woman on the radio yesterday talking about body image. She's a belly-dance instructor. She said that we are the shape we are. And that's about the extent of it. Going on a diet is not going to make my thighs disappear. I'd better get used to them.

This isn't an epiphany, just a some self-affirmation.

I've also been angry about my lack of regular employment, and my inability to secure any. I hate the hiring process. I have to wait until thousands of other teachers decide what they're doing for the year before I can even compete for the slim pickings that remain. I don't know if I should leave the province for work, or if I should tough it out. Should I look for something in an unrelated field? I have two degrees. Someone must consider me qualified by now.

I'm going to try harder to just be content. There's a lot to be said for a simple change in mindset.

On to others' stupidity.

I'm mad at people who make choices they can't handle. Specifically, one person. It's frustration, really. If you haven't properly thought out consequences, then you have no business making decisions. It's like the abstinence argument: If you can't handle having a baby, then you can't handle having sex; one is a possible side effect of the other.

I might explain that one in less-cryptic terms later.

Other stupidity is sporadic and not as affective. I can generally avoid, or dispell the rest.

In other news....

- Nancy has returned from Immersion!
- Foo is reachable by phone!
- Nayana's boyfriend has arrived!
- Mo is back in the country!
- Nina is back in the province!
- Happy birthday Nikah (and possibly congrats on wedding?)!

Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former. Albert Einstein

06 June 2004

Picking up....

Another update of my life:

1) Substituting. It has happened. I've had a total of 12 days so far, and one more booked this week. Other than that I have to wait for the 5:30 am phone calls.

2) Europe trip. Confirmed a journey to Europe with the family. Prague, Vienna, Salzburg, Zurich, Innsbruck, and Munich. Then, on the way home, I'll split from the family and spend 5 days in Paris chez Daphné. Tres excitant!

3) Called Daphne. Some of you may recall that I recently lamented her absence from my life. It is, at least temporarily, reaffirmed that she is part of my life. And the trend continues. We generally talk about an hour for each 6 months that go by without contact. So it stands to reason that we talked for 3 HOURS! Picked up where we left off. It was a great conversation. I've missed her so much. It seems like we're both getting our lives in order, and it's so great to be able to share that. I'm really excited that I'm going to see her.

4) Lonely me. Things have been sad on the friend front. Most people are away. Nancy and Steph are (separately) in Quebec, Nina's in Germany. Lew was in Montreal (back now, but has been spending time with her fiancé, and is now in CB for a few days), Jenni is working in B-water so out of reach, Katie's in France, Mo's on her way home from LA, but stopping in T-dot, Nayana's boyfriend just moved from Dubai to be with her, so she's "busy", Robyn's in W/V and gas prices are too high to drive down. Basically, I've been left with Lani, and Rick. Rick was working all the time, and I haven't been able to connect with Lani much (although we did watch some hockey last night. I have managed to scrounge together some social time. Mostly with Jillian, and Andy. With Jillian it's been drinks and a play ("Cats"). With Andy, it's been BBQs, camping, etc.

5) I saw Matthew Good in concert!! He was in town for 2 shows. I went to both. I was a crazy fan. First night I went with Jenni (I'm try to convert her); second night I went with Kris. The first night I was stunned and enthralled. I spent the concert sitting in a chair, staring. After the show, I went out to his bus where he was signing autographs and posing for pictures. I was a moron. Conversation went like this:

Me: Hi.
MG: Hi.
Me: (pause)
MG: Nice to meet you.
Me: Yeah! (pause)
MG: What's your name?
Me: Christine.

I handed him a CD to sign and said, "I'm being a moron. I'm just really excited to meet you." Yes, I said that. How embarrassing. I then babbled on about how I flew out to Vancouver to see him in concert a few years ago (leaving out that I was visiting a bf at the time). He knew which show I went to, and he then offered to sign all my CDs.

MG: You have them all there? Want me to sign them?
Me: You'll do that?
MG: For sure.
Me: If it's not any trouble. There's a line.
MG: (as he's signing, says something about how it's cool that I have them.)
Me: I think I'm going to come to tomorrow's show, too.
MG: I hope you do.

I managed to tear myself away and give Jenni a chance to get her Post-it note signed (all she had in her bag). We then beat ourselves up over how stupid we sounded, and for lack of a camera. I reaffirmed my desire to go back the next night.

Which I did. The concert was awesome. This time I stood in the crowd. He did another kick-ass show. More of the people there were hardcore fans (it being a Sunday night), and fewer drunks (which equals more general courtesy and more audience participation).

Went out to the bus again after the show. Had my other CD, his book, and my ticket stub from the Saturday show. Waited for 30 minutes or so. He came out and I was first in line. He remembered me from the night before, but I managed to redeem myself with some articulate conversation about the corruption of the music industry, the ineffectiveness of MuchMusic, and how he should play more shows in Halifax, with which he agreed. Kris took a picture of us, and I went on my merry way. Of course, I gushed all the way home about how great he was, and went to bed with a smile on my face.

Last point:

6) How shall I word this...? The drought ended. This might simultaneously come as a surprise, and no big shock to many of you. It's pretty much been in the works since New Year's. Don't really know what to say about it that doesn't sound completely stupid in type. It happened. It was great. Best I've ever had. Hands down. I was comfortable, not self-conscious, sober, and we could laugh about it while it was happening. It was about as good as I could have hoped.

The fallout? None, as of yet. Had a slight crisis of conscience a couple of days later. I read a NY Times article about teenagers and casual sex and was disgusted. Realized the hypocrisy of my disgust, and felt bad. I thought I should somehow feel bad or empty or something, but I don't. I'm okay. I'm just sailing along with no expectations, which seems to be the way to go with this.

If you have time to browse, click here for some pics of my life lately.