30 September 2003

WARNING: Self-indulgent blog ahead!

Blah! World of pukeage!! Not literally, but I'm feeling pretty ill right now, spurred on by the complete lack of sleep.

It's now 5:30 in the morning and I have yet to fall asleep. I'm up with anxiety. I was made to feel extremely stupid tonight; and while I don't plan to delve into details, I'm pretty upset about it. It doesn't seem fair to me that everyone has a right to their thoughts and feelings except me. I don't mean that literally. But that's how I've been made to feel and now I get to toss and turn all night wondering what's wrong with me, and being resentful of what I consider wilful ignorance.

I don't want to heap on the details right now, because then I'd have to think with some coherency and I'm not prepared to do that on zero sleep.

So, a nice blow to my self-worth because I get to feel like a shitty person no matter what I think or do. But, at least, in this case, I'm not alone in my shittiness.