12 April 2003

Care to snog?

I'm tired of intellectual connections rooted in deep, meaningful conversations that ultimately mean nothing!! Is it actually true that all men are emotional fuckwits who are only capable of superficial connections and who run at the first sign of something more complicated? These musings brought to you by a frustrated young woman, who, while in no way thinks that romantic relationship is necessary for happiness, would not be unappreciative of a little companionship to break the pseudo-monotony of young-adulthood before it turns into regular adulthood. This is brought on by a couple of occurrences:

Firstly, friend of some 20 years has met "really nice" boy but is unsure of long-term prospects because he seems too stable. This is an obvious indication of underlying emotional fuckwittage, which he is initially trying to hide by appearing perfectly normal. I've seen it before. Although I can't decide if it's worse to pretend to be normal, or to proclaim emotional damage upfront, à la Tom. One lures you into a false sense of security before they crush you with the weight of their emotional incapacity, the other tricks you into thinking that you can save them from Fate Worse Than Death by fixing them.

Secondly, it's raining. Rain makes me horny. I think it's a throwback to some movie I may have watched as a young adolescent. I find rain incredibly sexy. Anyone know Freud? Care to analyze this?

Allow me to assure my readers; I'm not sinking into some kind of self-pitying singleton slump (can you tell I've been reading Bridget Jones' Diary?), am just philosophizing on the way relationships and men work in my (simultaneously vast and limited) experience. A landmark anniversary is coming up. I'm trying to decide if I should be using approach of this occassion to do some deep psychological profiling on my part. Reassess values, etc. I hate landmark anniversary.

Right. So. This week was much better, educationally. I had another evaluation on Thursday, and it went soooooo much better. Am teaching goddess of extraordinary proportions. Students behaved like angels, with the exception of one little fuck who was thereafter reduced to tears by his homeroom teacher who made him feel bad about acting so backwards while I was being judged on my future career. I'd like to give his homeroom teacher a big hug for valueable lesson: The universe does not revolve around him. Have fears that he will grow up to be an emotional fuckwit, unless more moving lectures teach him the errors of his ways.

8 teaching days to go, including half-day of parent-teacher interviews. Am scared by prospect of having to tell parents that their children are losers who would be better off at the day care, than as junior high students. I won't put it like that, of course. But I don't think I can be fake nice and tell certain people that their children are doing okay. I'm hoping that parents of the worst kids don't care about their child's progress and they'll stay home. Make my life easier.

I have 20 x 8 assignments to mark. I guess I'll get cracking.

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