28 December 2003

The story:

Okay, so Matt C. and I met in junior high school. We were in percussion ensemble together when I was in Grade 9 (even though I played clarinet). I remember him being nice, and quiet. I also remember his dad owning a food place -- muffins and cookies and such. Which was great for gorging myself on carbs on a break from my acting classes. High school seems a blur now. I don't remember seeing him around much. I didn't see him at all after that. It's nice to know he's alive and still kicking. Stranger to know that we are still connected by two degrees. Oh how small the world.

The hemophiliac was okay. He'd already taken his medication that day, so he was in no danger of bleeding to death. Still, it was wacky. And scary.

My practicum was great. I had fun while I was there, but it was exhausting, which is why I never blogged. I was too friggin' tired all the time.

When I started, I was sick as a dog. I missed the first day because I had this crazy cold that literally appeared overnight. Showed up day 2 with no voice. Managed to squeak through the week like that. The following Monday, I jumped right in.

I taught 2 Grade 12 classes, and a Grade 10. I more watched the Grade 12s. They do productions for their coursework, and that includes directing the show themselves. All I did as a teacher was suggest things the director might have missed, kept order, give pep talks, and made sure everyone was still having fun. One class was doing 'A Christmas Carol' and my co-op teacher still handled them mostly. They only had a month to go when I showed up, so I was way behind, and not able to help them with the last minute details. The other group is doing 'To Kill a Mockingbird' (controversy!!) in January, and I spent a lot more time with them. They were a great class. I had to spend a considerable amount of time talking the director down out of her worry-tree, though. She's investing everything in this show, and she's worried that it's not coming together fast enough. She's doing an amazing job, though, and I had so much fun with that group, because they seem so focused and driven. Really exciting.

The Grade 10s were just a different class. They're doing the basics of drama. There's a required Fine Arts credit here, and the kids that can't draw or play an instrument end up in drama. So that class is a different group. Only about half of them will go on to take Grade 11 drama next year. In that case, it was just about going over fundamentals, and coming up with activities that are both fun and interesting. If it's boring, or they don't see the point of it, that's the end of it. You don't get anything out of them. Some students regularly got zeroes on assignments because they'd tell me up front that they weren't planning on doing any work. I still had a good time with them, though.

I decided to move home. No more w/v for me. I'll commute for school, but I have so much more fun, and it's so much cheaper living at home. I'm running out of money. I just can't pay for that apartment and all the bells and whistles anymore. I'm going to commute 3 days a week with Lani. I officially moved out of the apartment yesterday. Loaded everything in a van, and it'll be stored in MB until I can afford to live on my own again.

It's weird. Even as everything was being taken out, it still felt homey. I guess I formed a real attachment to that place. I wasn't sad, though. I took a picture of the building before I left, but it seems kinda hollow. "Here's a picture of where I lived." So, what? I guess it's hard to miss because I'm happy to be moving home.

I hung out with Mo last night. She's in town for a couple of weeks for Christmas. I actually bumped into her last week, and it was the happiest accident ever. We went for our hallowed sushi, and ate a TON, as usual. I met her bf, Jeff, and he seems great. She certainly likes him. :)

I was also invited out by Andy, who's in town from T-dot, but was too tired to go. He said he'd give me a call and we could hang out tonight. We'll see how I feel. I've decided that today is my lazy day, and I've already written a novel, so I'm wa-a-a-a-a-ay behind on my ass-growing.

There. You're all caught up. Be happy.

Happy New Year.

10 December 2003

Short and sweet

Imagine the worst possible thing that could happen to a student in a classroom (minus any weapons). Make that student a hemophiliac.

Welcome to my day.

26 November 2003

techno-loathing

I already made excuses to Robyn for my lack of blog. Now I will make them public.

I hate my computer right now. You'll have to teeter on those seat edges for a while longer before I reveal more about my elaborate existance.

Matt C., I will get to you next time.

17 November 2003

The Retraction

I did not, in any way, mean to imply that there was anything wrong with Loopy's (Lani's old pseudonym) name. My intention was to show that I don't purposefully pick inflammatory pseudonyms. Except in Limpy's case. And there's nothing inflammatory going on down there.

Oops!

In other news; I missed my first day of practicum due to the return of the super-nasty cold that likes to follow me on my romps through the public school system. So much for seeming enthusiastic. I will arrive early tomorrow, if it kills me (and I'm sure some of you are hoping it will.


PS; Hello, Mr. Cluett! How are things in your world?

26 October 2003

Ow

Or maybe, or maybe, or maybe.

Maybe I always knew it was a bad idea. Maybe I deserve better.

I feel like I've been hit by a truck.

22 October 2003

I am the Lizard Queen!!

It's hard to be completely perky when you're convinced that the cold of the year is trying desperately to invade your lungs. I'm ill-equipped to deal with it right now. I have too much to do. This is probably why my brain won't work, though. It was awful. Last night, Matt came over and we were going to just work and work and work on one of our many assignment. When I say "our", I don't mean that they were projects together, just mutual work -- since I'm in all of his classes. As far as actual work went, we did virtually nothing. We found a few sites and a couple of things we could print off or manipulate, but really, we didn't do much. In the end, we just ended up piled on the couch watching bad sitcoms, and then Family Guy before I took him home. Confusion still reigns. But maybe it's more fear than confusion. Or maybe it's just safer. Wait, not maybe. It is. Because if it weren't a safer option, there would be no need for fear. And of course, there's the prevailing feeling that I fucked up so royally last year, that it wouldn't matter anyway.

Blah. That's not what I woke up this morning to write. I wanted to write about how I could get a drama placement for my practicum. There are a limited number of teachers I'm allowed to work with, and I don't know whether any of them will take a student teacher. But JV is looking into it for me. So, yea!! I'm excited! I am the Lizard Queen!

18 October 2003

Notes and quotes

I saw Ann-Marie MacDonald read from her new book, The Way the Crow Flies, last night. It was AMAZING!! She is such a great presence on stage.

I was a little unsure as to whether I wanted to buy the book (which runs almost $40 -- hardcover), because her last book Fall on Your Knees was extremely graphic, and more then a little disturbing in places. But she is such a fascinating writer.

She caught me on the first line. I don't know if it was how she was reading, or the words themselves, but I'm eager to get at it now. I did shell out the $40 -- for a signed copy, too -- but I figure I can turn it into a Christmas present for my mom.

MacDonald's oral reading is great. I think it has something to do with being an actor as well. She doesn't act out every movement, but she makes the appropriate facial expressions, uses "tones" for the father or the brother or whomever is speaking. And generally puts all the inflection into it that you need to feel the mood. I don't know if I would have read the opening lines the way she spoke them. But now, hearing how the author herself intended them to be read, I know how to begin.

Had dinner with Nancy last night (also my date for the reading). Good times as always. We have such great conversations, and she thinks like I do, so she doesn't think I'm off the wall, but she also doesn't let me get away with anything. She's really busy and stressed because of school, plus she's training and raising money to run a marathon for arthritis. Initially she was going to try to raise twice as much money as she needed and I was going to get to go to the marathon too (in DisneyWorld!!!), but with only a couple of hundred dollars to go, I think she's running out of ideas for how to get it. Plus, she needs to really concentrate on the running. She's supposed to do 13 km tomorrow and she's scared. But I know she can do it, because she used to think that 5 was a big deal.

My parents are still enjoying Europe. They switch locations today, but I'm not quite sure where they're going. They left a phone number and that's all that I care about.

I had to go to a funeral on their behalf on Thursday. That wasn't much fun. I did get to see some people I haven't in a while, so that was nice. I got Uncle Brian's (not a real uncle, but a former employer) new card, so I'm going to give him a shout. I'm hoping he can give me some work over Christmas. Or at least take his favourite starving student out for a bite. He thinks I'm wasting my time in Education. He doesn't doubt that I'll make a great teacher, but he thinks I'm better suited to the business (read: event planning) world. And maybe someday I will. I doubt that I'm going to teach high school forever. Besides wanting to get my PhD at some point so I can teach university, event planning is something I enjoy very much. But it's stressful and I don't know if I could do it all the time. Plus, like Uncle Brian, I really hate schmoozing. And you have to do a lot of it when you run events.

I have to get ready to head back to w/v. I have work to do!

17 October 2003

It's my life. You live yours.

Okay, so I think it's time to intervene on my own behalf. I had hoped to avoid this, because from what I'm hearing, I think it's only going to enflame things more. But apparently my silence isn't helping either.

Robyn recently posted a blog lamenting the collape of roommateness between Estelle and I. In it she mentioned numerous attempts on my part to make contact, and noted that Estelle has been making inflamatory comments, "Evidently, it is not a far jump from space issues to slander." But she didn't state what those comments were.

In the comments section, Kaye then requested that Robyn butt out (my interpretation), asked for people not to pass judgement (a statement which I greatly appreciated), and requests that everyone let Estelle and I resolve things in our own good time.

So Robyn, after checking with me, posted the ICQ conversation she had with Estelle in which the stability of my mental state is called into question. I had read this conversation myself -- ICQ history can be a handy tool when one wants to validate infomation -- and was extremely upset by the comments made by Estelle because I didn't understand how a space issue turned into conjecture on my mental health. So, since I didn't think it was fair that Robyn was being accused (because that is how it seemed) of spreading rumours, when she was only making allusions to words actually written by my fellow disputee, I allowed her to post the evidence of which she spoke.

Now there is a reply from Estelle herself. More words. It makes my head spin. I have a headache. I'm still not sure where all this comes from.

I was originally going to post a rebuttal to said comment, but now I'm not going to. I don't see the purpose, since it won't accomplish any sort of change. All I'm going to do is point out that I have yet to say anything -- positive or negative -- about what's going on. I have tried. I have saved my evidence of that, but the only person who should see it is the person to whom it was sent in the first place. I won't even make allusion to what I said in those attempts, because it isn't anyone else's business. I will, however, state that Robyn isn't lying. She was BCCed in every correspondence attempt (as was a professor in 2 cases) because I trusted her to let me know if/when I said anything that could be portrayed as a verbal attack.

I will say this, though: I don't know how "She went nutso on practicum in Dec....." could be taken "out of context". But I also don't really care for an explanation.

People make up their own minds. I firmly believe that. And I refuse to engage in the mudslinging to which I feel I've been subjected over the past two weeks. I know who my friends are.

As I tell everyone; remember, you don't exist in a vacuum: The things you do have an effect, whether you realize it or not.

10 October 2003

The times they are a changin'.

I'm in shock. I can't believe it. They actually left.

For the first time in my life, I have to fend for myself on Thanksgiving. My parents went to Italy for 2 weeks. They left this evening. My brother is in T-dot, "housepoor", and unable to come home. So, instead, I'm doing it myself!

Well, not all by myself. Nayana is coming down and we're cooking a turkey. She's cooking after the actual turkey and I have stuffing. My dad prepared a Cranberry Relish for me to bring that smells and tastes yummy! I'm doing my potatoes, Robyn and Kurt are bringing carrots. Nayana's roomate, sister and bf will be there also. I might see if the sister can provide either a dessert or a green vegetable. So, that's seven.

Like I said, I'm sad. But I think I'll be okay. And if this plan hadn't worked out, I'm sure I could have convinced my parents to send my sorry ass to T-dot.

Come to think of it, what's wrong with me!? I could have gone shopping! I could have gone to to "Mamma Mia!" I could have seen Jenn & Justin! I could have... drawn even more comparaisons to how different this Thanksgiving will be to every one I've ever known.

At least this way, I can do it the way I like. Not that I don't love my brother, but I don't know if a turkey for 3 in a big city would have cut it for me. At least this way, I have something new to look forward to. Actually, I think I wish they'd sent Michael home. :( It must be worse for him.

I will call him and say nice things on Sunday. :) I will even write a note so I don't forget. :D

I am tired and must sleep.

Oh, yes. And ditto to the last blog.

04 October 2003

Yup, I'm bitter.

Some people deserve each other.

I wish they'd stay away from me.

30 September 2003

WARNING: Self-indulgent blog ahead!

Blah! World of pukeage!! Not literally, but I'm feeling pretty ill right now, spurred on by the complete lack of sleep.

It's now 5:30 in the morning and I have yet to fall asleep. I'm up with anxiety. I was made to feel extremely stupid tonight; and while I don't plan to delve into details, I'm pretty upset about it. It doesn't seem fair to me that everyone has a right to their thoughts and feelings except me. I don't mean that literally. But that's how I've been made to feel and now I get to toss and turn all night wondering what's wrong with me, and being resentful of what I consider wilful ignorance.

I don't want to heap on the details right now, because then I'd have to think with some coherency and I'm not prepared to do that on zero sleep.

So, a nice blow to my self-worth because I get to feel like a shitty person no matter what I think or do. But, at least, in this case, I'm not alone in my shittiness.

26 September 2003

Settling in

Wow. I'm tired. Who knew that three little boys could cause so much exhaustion? So, next time someone asks me why I'd be so crazy as to teach psycho high school kids, instead of cute elementary kids, I'll relate to them the experience of this night, which I wouldn't have survived without the help of Phil. I'm not going to say I've had miserable kids. Marty is right, they are great boys. There's no evil in them. But I fed them lots of sugar (which was probably ill-advised) dragged them out to the ski hill to wander around a crowded sale floor, and didn't give them supper until almost 8 pm. I have no curiosity; I know exactly why they were WACKO! They're finally asleep. Ah, quiet. :) I'm stopping at 2, and they'd better not both be boys. :S

Adjustment in the apartment is going well. I really feel more settled. Other things in my life, however, are unsettled. I'm feeling out of sorts with a few people, and that's really thrown me off kilter. I guess I decided to hinge my self-worth on others just as they decided to make themselves unavailable to me. I had a great long talk with Nancy this afternoon and she helped. People do like me. This is temporary. I didn't come here to make friends. Making friends is a bonus to getting through an amazing program that'll get me an amazing job that'll help me work towards even more. It's all process.

ACK! I sound like my profs!

There's a semi-formal tomorrow night. I guess I'm going to go. I don't have a whole lot of enthusiasm for it right now because of the shittyness. I think Estelle is otherwise occupied with a visit from her dad, Nina has been steadily avoiding me for 3 days, and I'm not sure why. I guess I'll talk to Steph tomorrow and see if I can tag along after her.

I know it's negative thinking to put it like that. I should beat myself up. She won't consider it tagging. And once I get there, it'll be tons of fun, I'm sure. I guess I'm just scared because of what is (or isn't) happening with Nina. I can't think of anything I might have done. It's selfish to think that it has anything to do with me. Something else could be wrong. Maybe she's avoiding everyone. I guess I just prefer when someone either talks to me or tells me to fuck off. That's what I would do, but I can't expect the same reactions and behaviours from everyone else.

I love my friends. I really do. I just wish they would respect me enough to let me know what's going on, whatever the deal happens to be.

22 September 2003

I'm trying

Wow. I'm busy. Between school, and life and FREAKING OUT, I can't keep up.

I really wish I could blog more often, but I can't put the time aside. The kitchen is constantly a mess (ARGH!), and I can't concentrate. It's all about adjusting. :P

More another time.

11 September 2003

Best Roommate Ever

Feeling much better. It's amazing what a lack of hormones can do to a person (especially this one).

I had a fun breakdown with Estelle on Monday night. I'm sure that put me right at the top of the "Best Roommate Ever" list. (Why can't I have "rolling eyes" smileys here like on MSN?) So many things to unload. Stress, exclusion, PMS, anxiety, the list goes on. She was so good about it and just let me cry. I don't know how long it had been since my last good cry. Ages, that I can remember. Well, months. It might have been December when I dumped Tom. Or January, when I reminded him that I dumped him. I can't recall any time over the summer, but at any rate, but felt good. A nice release.

The negativity has settled. I think things are a lot more open for everyone right now. For the most part. I have a sneaking suspicion that there's some resentment going on in some corners. I'm just trying to live my life and not go insane. I've been through the wringer in the last couple of weeks and I'm tired of having to prop others up at the same time. I don't resent it outright, I just wish that some people would have a little restraint and not assume that I'm a punching-bag/kleenex for unlimited use.

The first week of classes went relatively smoothly. I have enough anxiety to give a moose a heart attack, but I'm ready for this year. I don't expect great things, but I do expect things. I'm highly entertained by thoughts of what could be. It's also quite intimidating. But so far there's something good in each class, and that's a good first step. As with last year, there's quite a bit of group work, and the usual lesson planning. But still nothing scary like 12-page essays. I'll save those for next semester, I guess.

I'm in the city for the weekend. I saw Foo this afternoon. She's leaving shortly for a world backpacking tour. She could be gone anywhere from 8 months to a year. No Foo at Christmas; no comic superstar during stress. Woe is me. I'm really excited for her though. And a little jealous. It's going to be sooooooo fabulous!!

Other than that, I'm dogsitting and going to catch up with some people I've been neglecting since mid-August. Relatives are in town as well, and I must make an appearance! :)

Off to have a snack before din-din. Send love to those who need it!

05 September 2003

Self-indulgent

I guess I should just go to bed and not spend time being mopey online. I'm feeling a little blue, though. Perhaps lonely might describe it well, but it's a selfish lonely. Maybe it's because I'm tired and bored and don't have enough activity. Maybe it's frustration with some of the crap that's going on amidst my "community" here, but I'm a little frustrated and not in the mood to try to perk myself out of it right now.

There are a couple of people who deserve a good punch in the headfor being chronically unobservant and not just a little blind. Being self-aware is hard, but we're not talking quantum physics. If something is wrong then look at what you can do to fix it before you start blaming everyone else. If you've dane everything you can to try to fix something and you still see a problem, then take it that person and see what you can work out. It's not a big deal! This is going on with too many people right now. I'm even a little guilty of it myself. But there's so much negativity and I've only been here 3 days!!!

I want my mommy. :(

Before I set myself off into a flood of tears from exhaution, frustration, and loneliness, I shall go to bed.

Life is good. My father never held a gun to my head, so right off, I can count 2 people I'm ahead of. There are plenty of third world people who would love to have my first world problems. (Thanks, MG.)

21 August 2003

Welcome to the 21st Century!

Yea!!!! My parents FINALLY got a new computer!!

It's wonderful!!!!

4 more days of work. Less than 2 weeks to start school. I can do this. ARGH!

12 August 2003

I feel great!

I have felt this good in many days! All last week, with the crappy weather, I was tired and demoralized. I just felt like crap. Sunday night I had a migraine and was in a lot of pain. Only ended up working 3 hours Monday as a result, due to lack of sleep and residual pain. Today I still felt a little hungover (from the meds) and I wasn't sure I was going to go rowing. Another downpour threatened to be my saviour, but it cleared off just when Nayana and I had set our deadline for a decision. We went and it was FANTASTIC! We had a good crew, and while our start was a little labourious when we got a rhythm going, I felt like gold.

I just broke in my new aesthetician. Ouch. She likes her wax hot and her waxing quick. I appreciated the speed, since waiting tends to make me tense, but I really thought my skin was going to burn off. Maybe that helps dull the pain though, because I got through it without much trouble. But I miss Laura. :( We got along so well. We always laughed when I went in. I might go elsewhere for my intended pre-wedding manicure/pedicure. I need to be able to chat if I'm sitting there for 45 minutes. And perhaps elsewhere has more convenient times.

I'm doing a countdown to finish work -- even though it also means back to school, I just want to be done with the job -- and the 6:15 wake-up. I have 11 days to go. Then my vacation in T-dot begins. The wedding, the lounging, the sleeping. I'm so stoked! I think I'll start Gone With the Wind then. I'm hoping to devour a good chunk in a weekend.

That's all for now. Mom has blueberry crisp in the oven and my mouth is starting to water!

05 August 2003

Live life to the fullest

I had a great weekend. I left my phone number for my waiter at East Side Mario's on Friday. He was cute and funny and 26. I don't think he's called yet. I don't know if he will at all. It was just something I felt like doing. But last night while I was at the movies, I did get a call that was blocked from call minder, so that could have been him. There was no message. I'm going to call one of my friends to see if it was him, because his number never comes up on my phone. If not, maybe it was the waiter....

Saturday, I went to my parents' party in MB. It poured, but I had fun. Jenni came up from Bridgewater and we caught up on the last couple of months. That was great.

Sunday I went boozing with AU friends. There were tons of us, and we had such a good time. I drank to the point of puking. That wasn't so much fun. But the dancing was great! I can't remember how much I drank, but it was too much. I'm going to take a break for a while.

Last night I went to the movies with Rick and Jillian and had a good time. Haven't hung out with Jillian in almost 18 months. Of course, she asked if we could go downtown soon. That's what she always wants to do. I'm not completely opposed to it, but she decided to ask when I was nursing a hangover, so it made the idea rather unappealing. I'll see. I don't have time for a couple of weeks anyway.

I've been rowing and socializing a lot lately. More the latter. I'm having a great summer. Things aren't always going as planned, but I'm greatly amused, most of the time. And when I not being amused, I enjoy the quiet.

Things have started picking up at work (as of today -- let's not dub it a "trend' just yet) and it makes it harder to finish books, but easier to pass the time. I barely noticed the extra hour I had to work. I'm starting to get annoyed with my lunch replacement. She asked me early last month if she could come in at 12:30 instead of noon, and she's barely made it before 1 since then. I find that a little irriatating, especially when I'm supposed to have lunch plans with friends from out of town. If it continues like that this week, I'm going to ask if she can try to be more consistent. At any rate, I'm getting tons of leisure reading done and it's GREAT! I didn't know I missed reading so much!

Well, there y'all go. A blog, finally. I know it's a little condensed, but I thought it was finally time. No guarantees on the next update, but I'll try to be more consistent.

28 July 2003

Busy me

Wow. Lots has been happening in the last 3 weeks since I really blogged. I have little time to sit down and properly blog, and when I have that time, I don't want to spend it sitting in front of a computer. I sit for a living. I want to be lying down. :) Or rowing. The latter is my current preference. I'll try harder this week, though. We'll see what transpires.

21 July 2003

Boo hoo

Wah wah wah. I haven't blogged in ages. I'm busy. Suck it up.

10 July 2003

Another disappearance

I started a blog on my Monday night catastrophe, but it seems to have disappeared. Sadness.

Here's the lowdown. My sunglasses are gone. For good. None of this "Here's a lesson on how to not misplace your things" crap. They either sank or floated away. Here's my tale of woe (abridged):

Monday night I went rowing by myself. Nayana worked late, and my mother's wisdom convinced me that I could be waiting a long time if I would only go if someone else was going. So off I went, confident in My Ability to Row. There were five of us that day, so I (being both the oldest and the most "experienced") proudly proclaimed that I would be happy to row a single, i.e. me, alone in a boat.

It started off fine. I was working up to a full slide (as opposed to some of the smaller movements you make to get the boat going), when along came my coaches. I handed my car keys to one of them because I was thinking, "Gee, it's probably not a good idea to have a series of small metal objects on the water in a very tippy boat." Mission accomplished, I started to row again. And then I fell.

I lost balance. And this isn't hard to do. You have a very small boat, not very deep (if you've ever seen the boats, you'll know how low they are), where you're essentially sitting at water level. Depending on where your hands are, the boat rocks from side to side. The heighth of your hand determines the heighth of the oars on the water, and that's what's keeping you up. So, if one hand is lower than the other, then that oar is higher (think see-saw) and over you go. And the big problem is that it's counter-instinctive. If you're going to fall, you put your hand down to cushion the blow. But because of the see-saw effect, putting your hand lower, puts the oar higher, and... SPLASH!!! And, in my case, FLIP!!

In I went. The boat capsized. And I was tied into stupid boat shoes (which give you leverage for the sliding seat). I wriggled my way out (underwater) and surfaced. I dove back in to find my sneakers and Brita bottle which I'd left in the boat.

Sometime later, with much struggling and sputtering, I managed to right the boat and get back in (with the aid of the two coaches -- who I'll call Laura and Nick -- and their putt-putt). I was just getting back into the swing of things when I thought, "Gee it's awfully bright out. And that glare off the water is blinding." So, I reached up to pull my sunglasses down from the top of my head and...

They were GONE!!!! It appears that capsizing, and then submerging repeatedly will pull sunglasses right off the top of your head. Laura and Nick offered to putter about in the putt-putt and see if they could spot them, but I knew better. They were gone. Or, at the very least, unspottable, being black. I figured that's they'd either sunk to the bottom of the lake (of which, while not oceanically deep, is still difficult to dive to the bottom), or, it being quite breezy, floated away into "Second Lake", or crashed on the rocks. In any case, their mini-search proved fruitless, and I resigned to a slow, circular row around the cove to practice my balance.

Is this the end? By no means.

I eventually decided to head back to the dock, as it was getting close to the end of the session. I just passed my tipping point, when, in I went again. The boat mercifully tipped just enough to deposit me in the water, and then righted itself. That was partly by choice. I knew that a struggle would result in another capsize, and Laura and Nick had gone off in pursuit of the quad, which had rowed right into Second Lake. Another rower (who was gracefully propelling her single through the water) told me she'd find a coach to help me, and the competitive coach came to my rescue. He offered to help me reboard my sculler, but I'd had enough for the evening. I crawled into his putt-putt (no romantic notions, girls, he's married), and we tugged the sculler back to the dock. Thankfully, I'd left my water-logged sneakers, wet socks and water bottle with the other coaches, so I didn't need to do any other retrieval work.

I went home disheartened and disconsolate.

Tuesday I went out and bought another pair of $135 sunglasses.

I bought a nerdy head-lasso to keep them firmly attached to my head (which, after rowing last night, works quite well, thank you -- although I didn't test it underwater).

02 July 2003

Long time, no blog

Wow. Busy me.

Number 1) Finished rowing. 3 days in a row last week. Much pain did I feel for many days.

Number 2) Selected wedding dress. Pale green with some print. Pretty. Pleased with choice.

Number 3) Downtime with Foo. Skipped Other Work function to do so.

Number 4) Day of drinking and movie-ing with Nancy. Started at a wine tent on the waterfront -- tasting and food for $10. Excellent. Got tipsy. Walked to the 'Stache and drank more. Nikah arrived, and more drinking and eating ensued. At which point we walked to the theatre to see Charlie's Angels: Full Throtle. Utter trash. I refuse to waste valuable typing time listing the plot holes that they tried to fill with T&A. Much disappointment.

Number 5) Drove to MB to spend Quality Time with the parentals, and a visiting cousin + stepfamily. Good times, great weather.

Number 6) Rick's surprise b-day dinner. 'Twas entertaining. He embarrassed himself by telling the waitress it was his birthday. They made him stand on a chair whilst they sang at him. Ha ha! People were gonig to the CD fireworks afterwards, but I, being tired, went home to bed.

Number 7) Started reception at The Heart today. Managed to stay mildly entertained with an accumulation of the weekend's newspapers, crosswords included. Did a quick lunch with Foo. I can tell I'm going to go crazy. I won't always have people to break the monotony of my workday, and it's no fun eating lunch alone when that's how you spend your entire day. All I can think is, "I need to buy books."

24 June 2003

Drawing a straight line

I don't have much to blog. Life is far from boring, but I'm not doing much. I managed to get to the Multicultural Festival on the weekend, but all I did was hover around the food tables, and talk to the Acadians about French. I've left work early the last 2 days because I haven't had enough to do. Yesterday I just came home, but today I went to the mall to find a dress for Jenn's wedding. I found 3. Mom and Grandad came with me, and they couldn't decide either so I took all 3 and I'll get my dad to cast his vote. I may also see if Nancy can help me. As long as I decide by next Tuesday, I can return the ones I don't want. I already have a good idea, but I'm not sure which I'm more likely to wear again, and that's key when I'm looking at dresses in excess of $100.

I had rowing again tonight. Nayana and I were in a double. That was interesting. There was a lot of zig-zagging back and forth across the lanes. We got the hang of it near the end (as usual). It was really frustrating, but I still had such a great time! We're doing a make-up lesson tomorrow. I'm sure I'll be in lots of pain by the time the weekend rolls around. I'm looking forward to Saturday. I'm not doing anyting at work, but I'm getting up at 7:30 to do nothing. On Saturday I can lie around in earnest. :D How exciting.

I guess I had more blog in me than I realized.

19 June 2003

I'm lovin' it!

I was rowing again tonight. Again, it was fabulous. It poured rain. At one point, the coach thought we might get lightning, so we had to stay relatively close to the docks, but it was great. Again I laughed the whole time. I enjoy it so much! I'm so happy to have found something to do that is active and fun and outdoors and all mine! I'm not going to rush out and buy a boat or anything. I just want to have fun.

I'm tired. All that rowing has stopped my brain. Time for a rest.

17 June 2003

New love

I had my first rowing class this evening and it was AWESOME! The first thing I learned is that I have to cut my fingernails, or I'm going to tear the shit out of the backs of my hands. We learned the basics of the stroke, how to sit and move so you don't strain your back, and then we went out in the water. It was so much fun, but I made so many mistakes. It made me realize how weak I am. I really need to build up some strength; especially in my arms. I know the boats are awkward, but I had so much trouble carrying it. Maybe it was how, I don't know, but I'm sure it'll get easier once these muscles pop up.

I worked with NAncy today for a bit. I went into Other Work, and managed to stretch out what little there was to do into 3 hours, but then I hit that wall again. I wasn't needed, and I knew she could use the help, so I called her and met her and her crew at PPP. I watched the kids play for about 3 hours and then they had to catch a bus back to her place, so I headed back to Other Work. I managed to fill enough time until it was time to leave for rowing, so I feel like a had a productive day.

Nayana came with me. She had fun too. And we met another girl our age and she seems like fun. It's so easy to bond when you keep scraping oars and when you "get a crab", which is what they call it when your oar gets stuck in the water -- which happens a LOT the first day.

I can't wait until Thursday! It's supposed to rain, but I'm excited to go back!!!

15 June 2003

Salad Days

A tame weekend. But satisfying. I spent time with some of the people who make me happiest. Movies; rainy days in the country. Ah, poetry lives.

I'm starting rowing this week, and I'm getting excited. It'll be fun to try something new.

I just discovered that I grated my thumbnail. I was grating carrot earlier to put in salads for my lunches. I guess I caught my thumbnail. It's all torn. :( But it's intact, so I don't think I have to worry about digesting any. Yuck.

12 June 2003

Hallelujah!

MY SUNGLASSES HAVE RETURNED!!!!

Bitterness gone. Sigh.

Frivolity comes with a price

So, I think Someone is trying to teach me a lesson. Apparently I should own expensive things, or anything that helps me maintain my eyesight, for that matter.

On the weekend (at Kelly's camp), I dropped my cell by the lake and it got stepped on. It could have been me, it could have been someone else. But the end result was a hole in the display screen, and a whole lot of wetness. Considering how drunk I was, I would have expected myself to freak out. There was a little bit of "Oh, no!" but otherwise I was generally calm about it. I decided that either it could be fixed or it couldn't. Simple enough. I brought it in and they said it was only the glass and they fixed it for only $35. They gave me labour free, since it was a 2 minute job and nothing else was wrong with it (a miracle). That wasn't so bad.

I lost my glasses a few weeks ago. The last time I saw them was before I went to LA. I'm not covered under insurance for a new appointment, prescription or frames until October, but I can't wait that long because I'm getting dizzy spells.

And today I lost my sunglasses. My $135, 6 week old pair. Gone. Disappeared into the void. And I think I lost them at my dad's office too, so that makes it worse. I really despise people. Why can't they just be honest. And before you start hurling accussations like, "If you found a pair of sunglasses, you'd take them too." No. I wouldn't. Because this isn't the first time this has happened, and I know how upsetting it is. Even my eyeglasses have been stolen right out of my schoolbag. ARGH!!!

So, I'm bitter. And I haven't learned anything, because I'm going out right now to buy another pair. Then I can whine about my $300 sunglasses when they go missing (combined total, both pairs).

11 June 2003

Making your life better

I was going to blog, but I've decided to sleep instead. Don't you feel fulfilled, just knowing that?

09 June 2003

Making Nostalgia

My mood continues to improve. I have a sneaking suspicion that PMS was a factor; although, thanks to Depo, I can never be sure.

I had a great weekend. Went to Kelly's camp Saturday night, drank too much, but had fun doing it. As bedtime approached, I decided that I didn't really want to digest all that alcohol, and proceeded to expunge it. I was still hit hard, but all the better for it on Sunday, I think.

This is Nikah and Nacy's last week at the Heart. I'm sad. It's selfish, though. I'm sad because it means that I won't be able to go back and visit/work next year if I come home for the weekend. I'm also sad for them because tomorrow is going to be a hard day with all the goodbyes. I'm going to make myself scarce early so I can avoid the tears. I don't have to say goodbye to them. I plan on being friends with them for years. I learn so much from them. They are so generous with their love and support, and right now it's important to me to keep in touch and have more wild and crazy nights, harassing innocent bands who have technical difficulties, and shocking the old ladies with our dance moves. I'm getting teary, so I have to stop now.

Stanley Cup final tonight -- Game 7. Go Ducks!

07 June 2003

Looking up

I've regained a bit of my self-respect. Boy, was I ever pissy last night. I decided that I needed an endorphin rush, so I put on my sneakers and went for a power-walk. I felt so much better as soon as I started. And then I sat down to start a Sailor Moon-a-thon. I don't know why I considered it a last minute "only if everyone ditches me" activity. I love that show. I really enjoyed watching it. Then I chatted with Lew on the phone until too late at night and went to bed. It turned out to be quite pleasant.

I signed up for a rowing class today. It sounds like fun. Sucky, non-communicative friends be damned. I'm gonna spend my summer on the water with or without y'all. I start in a week and a half, and I excited. If I like it, I can join the rec club. Maybe I'll finally have a hobby. Wheeeeeee!

Must jet. Heading to w/v to check my mail, and then I have 24 hours of road tripping to do.

06 June 2003

What a week

I thought it would never stop. I'm not talking about wishing my life away, but it just seemed to drag. I only started working this week, and I already don't remember not working. I long for another vacation. I think it's because I'm lazy.

I'm feeling slightly irritated tonight. I have nothing to do, and that's pretty much been my natural state of late. It seems like, if I'm not chasing people to do things, I don't do anything. And I'm tired of chasing people, so I'm not doing anything. Why can't I maintain reciprocal friendships? once I get the feeling that I'm doing all the calling, I stop, and suddenly, the phone is silent.

I don't want to complain about this; I'm just frustrated. I want to have a fun summer, and I don't see that happening yet.

Right now I'm mostly looking forward to Jenn's wedding at the end of August. The invitation came in the mail today. I'm really excited. I just need to figure out what I'm wearing, what I'm going to say (I'm speaking), and where to get a date....

03 June 2003

ARGH!!!!

Why are people such backwards idiots!? Is there no one on the planet who can accept that they aren't always right, and that there are other possibilites than what they know (or think they know)?

My lament starts because my father is losing a highly talented employee beacuse said employee thinks he's a genius and everyone else is a dipshit. He worked there a couple of years ago and left because he thought the grass was greener elsewhere. He did some freelance work for a while, but it wasn't as lucrative as he'd hoped, so he started negotiations to start working for my dad again. He was finally taken back, and now he's up and done it again. He bashes his supervisors, berates everyone, skips off work to golf without telling anyone he's leaving, and when people sit down with him to discuss the problems, he points fingers. He's so good at what he does, but he creates incredibly antagonistic environments. So today he was told that h he would not be kept on after his probation ended, and he immediately started pointing blame at everyone else. He refuses to own up to his behaviour because he thinks everyone else is a moron. My dad is upset and frustrated; co-workers are demoralized. It's all because of someone who thinks they know better.

Why are people like this? I encounter this everywhere. And -- apologies for the generalization -- men handle it worse then any other section of society. When a man is wrong, he goes into hiding. They're socialized like this! It's their belief that they are the strong ones. Well, how can they be strong if they're wrong? "If I ignore it, it'll go away." More like, if I beat it down.... I'm so sick of people, ALL people, not taking responsibility. It's one big blame game. Fess up, apologize, MOVE ON.

I don't have enough appendages to count the number of times I've had to either ignore a blunder, or chase someone for an apology. No wonder society is so sick. How can we be content about anything when we're constantly on guard for the next blame sniper. You're not even safe from your children. "I'm like this because my parents...." Boo hoo hoo. Suck it up. You may have a reason, but it shouldn't be an EXCUSE.

ARGH!!!

01 June 2003

Making Changes

I will probably take some flak for this, but two of my fellow bloggers have been removed from my blog. It's nothing personal, or retaliatory; it's just that what they post could just as easily be said in a Shout Out as on the main page. It's an executive decision. Hopefully they will not take this personally, and will continue to read and comment. Love to K&K.

31 May 2003

Disappointment

Well, at least I now have something to blog. There's nothing better than waiting until a cosmic shift in the expected order of things to give one something to write about.

Yesterday I was talking to Andrea and she informed me of the unthinkable. Tom has not left w/v. Now, see, we had a deal. I had to put up with his online harassment, his in-person idocy (i.e., Bumper People with MY friends), and his friends making status reports about my goings on (i.e., cyber-stalking) but the trade off was that, as of mid-May, I got w/v to myself. He was supposed to leave. But, lo and behold, not only has he maintained residency, he FAILED to graduate. ARGH!! This information also comes from Andrea who checked the registrar's grad list for spring convocation. This is NOT FAIR! I don't want to hear the BS about how life isn't fair, and you just have to make do as best you can. I've put up with enough from this bugger, and I deserve the right to carry on without fear that the next ICQ message I get is going to be from a new account he set up to annoy me!

Where do I find these men? Why can't I find someone nice and not psychotic, like Lew's Mike, or the Estelle's Gerald? Why does it seem to be my lot in life to sift through the sociopaths, and then deal with them afterwards? Is it a gift I have. Now, to be fair, the previous ex went away quietly after I asked him to repay the money he owed me. It meant I had to chase him for it, but that effectively put an end to any semblance of positivity he might otherwise have tried to glean post-break-up.

I'm not asking that all exes either forget I exist, or even stay buddy-buddy. I want someone who has the common sense to know that it is inappropriate to hound someone, and beat them down just because they're feeling hurt. Wow. What a concept. Although, strangely worded, yes; I'm looking for an ex who can move on, so I can do the same.

BLARGH!!!

At this point, my saving grace is that he's taking a summer course to finish up and will be gone before the end of the summer. My paranoid fear is that he's decided to do an honours thesis and is sticking around for another year. I'm holding out for the former.

On a lighter note, I'm feeling much better than yesterday, so I feel ready to talk about LA.

It was AMAZING!! What a great place! I went to visit Mo who's working as a volunteer kindergarten teacher at a domestic violence shelter there. The people she works with are great. And the families who live there are relatively well-adjusted, considering the situations some of them encountered.

I'm not going to give a play-by-play of what I did, that's for the hardcopy journal and to tell my friends. But, for those of you I don't know, and for those of you I don't talk to on a regular basis, here are the highlights.

Helped at the shelter: Mo was sick the first week I was there, so I was her voice. It made me feel like a police officer, and I'm surprised that anyone liked me, but it's nice to know that I helped.

Craig Kilborn: Went to a taping of his show. Robbie Williams was his guest. It's amazing to think that Americans don't know who he is. He's been big in the Frozen North for years. The show was fun, and Robbie was awesome.

The Producers: Saw the hit Broadway musical. This production starred Martin Short and Jason Alexander. They alone were worth $50 of the $90 I accidentally paid for the tickets. It was a great show. I'm glad I decided to splurge.

Universal Studios: Mo's favourite theme park. We went on rides, saw some shows, had our picture taken with some Marvel superheroes. I got tons of souvenirs. We ate at an Italian restaurant that stuffs its customers, and went to the movie theatre at Universal to see Down With Love -- by far the BEST movie I've seen so far this year.

Farm: The families had an outing to a heritage farm, and I got to go too. Not what most people put at the top of their list of this to do in California, but it was a great day. Everyone was so happy. The kids got to run around and do things, the mothers got to see their kids have some carefree fun, and the Westerlies (a philanthropic organization) took care of everything, so the volunteers and nuns got a break.

Krispy Kreme: Experienced the bliss that is the fresh, still-warm heaven. Not like a donut at all -- a completely different experience. Awesome.

Anaheim: Stayed in a hotel, for easier access to Disneyland.

Disneyland/Disney's California Adventure: I can't say enough or even find words to describe what an AMAZING time I had. I love Disney. Three cheers for Corporate America. Too bad more multi-nationals can't find similar ways to make consumers happy. It's all about gluttony and excess, but tell me the last time that IBM made some kid's (or adult in kid's clothing) day like Disneyland can. So many cool rides. As Mo herself said, Universal looks phoned in be comparaison. I bought tons more shite, and had a BLAST!!!

Graumann's Chinese Theatre: An experience. Even if I did have to see The Matrix: Reloaded to experience it. The audio was amazing. You haven't truly heard the THX sound until you've heard it there.

Hollywood: I was staying in North Hollywood most of the time I was there, but it's not the same. Did a Star Homes tour (saw the Playboy mansion), did the Walk of Fame, I'd already spent a lot of time at Hollywood & Highland, the $6.8 million dollar shopping center that houses the Kodak Center; new home of the Academy Awards. Went to a really great movie theatre called the ArcLight where there's assigned seating, a reastaurant and a gift shop, and THE BEST movie theatre popcorn I've ever tasted. Tyra Banks was there with her boyfriend. They ate at the table next to us. We saw Everybody Says I'm Fine! which is an English-language Indian movie that will probably never see the light of day (dark of theatre) in Hfx. It was great. We stopped at H&H again to see if I could Build-a-Bear, but they closed early, so I was relegated to going home to bed so I could get up at 4:30 and fly home.

The end.

From Katie

HEY CHRIS! Glad to hear you are back, sorry to hear you feel ill. Hope you are better soon and then we can all go out for some fun.

30 May 2003

You like me!

So, I'm being harassed from various corners. It seems people miss my blog. Well, you'll have to suck it up and wait a while longer. I spent 2 glorious weeks in LA and was mildly jet-lagged from that, but my biggest impediment to a full-scale blog is illness. I went to bed with a sore throat last night, and I woke up with an accompanying cough this morning. I feel better having finally dragged myself out of bed, but still gross. Therefore, I don't want to use my brain to recount tales of sun and celebrities. I'd rather watch General Hospital and rest. I shall return when I've confirmed that I haven't contracted SARS.

22 May 2003

From Kelly

Poor little bloggy blog sitting in white space waiting for little black letters to gather and form. Thanks for all of my birthday greetings and such. I appreciate it.

15 May 2003

From Kelly

Christine is living the life of a California babe..while we freeze our bums off in Nova Scotia. I wish I could go somewhere warm..*sigh*

07 May 2003

Spring Cleaning

I've spent the last week clearing out my room. It's quite the feat. I accumulate so much junk and I don't know why. I just like to keep stuff. Last time I did this was 5 years ago when my carpet was torn up because a) my dog like to exact his revenge on the family by peeing in my room; and b) my allergies were starting to require something that didn't hold dust like a dusty incarnation of Magneto. I cleaned a whole bunch of $h!t out and packed into those lovely Rubbermaid bins. Now I'm sorting through bins, closets, drawers, under the bed behind the dresser -- you name it, it's been pulled out. I had a 5 day laundry saga where by I washed almost everything, packed away most of my winter stuff, unpacked my summer clothes, packed for my trip to LA (!) and junked a bunch of stuff that either doesn't fit or I haven't worn in a year. I wasn't as merciless as I'd wanted, and I ended up keeping more than enough for "sentimental" reasons. But I did make some space.

Sorting through ones life is hard. Deciding what to throw out or give away is torture. Should I have thrown out my old sticker album? Should I give away that Care Bears story? It's heart-wrenching.

But when it comes down to it, I'm tired of the clutter. Watch out: you could be next.

03 May 2003

I'm still learning

I know. I don't blog enough.

I'm enjoying not having work to do which means I don't have to sit in front of the computer all day which means less desire to blog.

I'll come back soon. Patience, young grasshopper.

29 April 2003

From Kelly

Poor little blog has been abandoned. It is a lovely day in the neighbourhood. I think a trip to the park is in order. Caper wants to go swimming. Looking forward to dinner tonight. Hanging out will be coo man coo. Chris, did you eat your shrimp ring yet? Lata.

25 April 2003

Celebration

For all intents and purposes, I AM DONE!! SUMMER HAS BEGUN!! LET THE PARTYING BEGIN!!!!!

23 April 2003

From Katie

HAPPY BIRTHDAY CHRIS!!!!!

A little late in the day, what can I say I just got in! Hope you had a fabulous time and we will celebrate more on Tuesday night!!

20 April 2003

Happy Easter!!

Happy am I. Estelle came to visit for the better part of the weekend. Makes me feel good that she's here having fun with me. I don't like to think of people sitting alone on major holidays. Not that she would have been alone, but Meal Hall couldn't compare to mom's turkey. ;)

My plan had been to write a whole lot more, but now I have to partake of Easter Feast. More another time.

12 April 2003

Care to snog?

I'm tired of intellectual connections rooted in deep, meaningful conversations that ultimately mean nothing!! Is it actually true that all men are emotional fuckwits who are only capable of superficial connections and who run at the first sign of something more complicated? These musings brought to you by a frustrated young woman, who, while in no way thinks that romantic relationship is necessary for happiness, would not be unappreciative of a little companionship to break the pseudo-monotony of young-adulthood before it turns into regular adulthood. This is brought on by a couple of occurrences:

Firstly, friend of some 20 years has met "really nice" boy but is unsure of long-term prospects because he seems too stable. This is an obvious indication of underlying emotional fuckwittage, which he is initially trying to hide by appearing perfectly normal. I've seen it before. Although I can't decide if it's worse to pretend to be normal, or to proclaim emotional damage upfront, à la Tom. One lures you into a false sense of security before they crush you with the weight of their emotional incapacity, the other tricks you into thinking that you can save them from Fate Worse Than Death by fixing them.

Secondly, it's raining. Rain makes me horny. I think it's a throwback to some movie I may have watched as a young adolescent. I find rain incredibly sexy. Anyone know Freud? Care to analyze this?

Allow me to assure my readers; I'm not sinking into some kind of self-pitying singleton slump (can you tell I've been reading Bridget Jones' Diary?), am just philosophizing on the way relationships and men work in my (simultaneously vast and limited) experience. A landmark anniversary is coming up. I'm trying to decide if I should be using approach of this occassion to do some deep psychological profiling on my part. Reassess values, etc. I hate landmark anniversary.

Right. So. This week was much better, educationally. I had another evaluation on Thursday, and it went soooooo much better. Am teaching goddess of extraordinary proportions. Students behaved like angels, with the exception of one little fuck who was thereafter reduced to tears by his homeroom teacher who made him feel bad about acting so backwards while I was being judged on my future career. I'd like to give his homeroom teacher a big hug for valueable lesson: The universe does not revolve around him. Have fears that he will grow up to be an emotional fuckwit, unless more moving lectures teach him the errors of his ways.

8 teaching days to go, including half-day of parent-teacher interviews. Am scared by prospect of having to tell parents that their children are losers who would be better off at the day care, than as junior high students. I won't put it like that, of course. But I don't think I can be fake nice and tell certain people that their children are doing okay. I'm hoping that parents of the worst kids don't care about their child's progress and they'll stay home. Make my life easier.

I have 20 x 8 assignments to mark. I guess I'll get cracking.

11 April 2003

From Katie

Looking forward to it !! I could use one that's for sure! See you all there :) YEEEEEEEHAAAAA!!!

10 April 2003

From Kelly

It's the weekend...do YOU know where your friends are??? Teehee. Drunkin stuper at my house Sat.

08 April 2003

From Katie

Hey Chris, Not good news to spill, My Grammy passed away Monday morning. Things are tough but I am ok. I feel like I haven't seen or talked to anyone forever, except the two times Kelly called. Hope things are going well for you, I did get to read all your adventures in teaching! Hopefully I will get to see you guys all soon. Thanks for the song Kelly :)

Hello?

What happened to Katie?

Blog Katie! Spill all!

06 April 2003

From Kelly

This post is for Katie. OHHH Katie I love your ways..everyday..yeaeee yea....Hang in there Katie. Times are tough, but it will get better.
We will have some well deserved fun soon. I can see the light of warm summery fun from here!

03 April 2003

Breaking the rules

So is it bad to let two young, male students in your car? I drove 2 home after play rehearsal today. Am I crazy? Apparently I've decided to disregard all the warning we get about not putting yourself in compromising positions with your students.

Maybe showing them controversial websites wasn't smart either. But they were funny!! And there was nothing else to do! The Drill Sargeant was out because her daughter is sick, and most of the class was away on a field trip.

Sigh. When will I ever learn?

02 April 2003

A Rant of 7 Points

What the...?

My brain is flying with thoughts! Too much to write to get it all out. But let me write down some choice thoughts.

1. I hate war. It doesn't make any sense to me. Apparently American troops have crossed the imaginary line that they suspect will trigger a chemical/biological weapon attack by Saddam's supporters.

2. Where is Saddam? Is it true? Could he actually be dead? So what are his supporters trying to accomplish now.

3. George Bush is an idiot.

4. Children should be hauled out of school for a year in Grade 9 if they can't prove they have a reasonable level of maturity. What's reasonable? I don't know for sure, but my Grade 9s haven't reached it yet.

5. I really still am a kid at heart. I have more fun talking to the Grade 10s about their lives than I do sitting in the teachers lounge. Actually, I don't find the teachers at my school very welcoming. I'd like to think that if I were at a school and a student teacher came in, I'd offer them any help they need, and talk to them when they were around. Small town mentality, I guess. Leary of strangers.

6. Should I not take the tourism job if I'm offered it? Where did that one come from? I've just considered being lazy instead. Retail wouldn't pay the bills, but I'd certainly get lot of time to myself. And there's always the lawsuit to fall back on....

7. One Grade 9 was given an in-school suspension today, for a "bad attitude". I wouldn't necessarily have called him on what he did. I would have ignored him and let him mumble into obscurity, but he caught Dawn on a bad day, and down to the office he went. It's amazing what warrants a suspension these days. I can't tell if it fosters more "I don't care" attitudes, or keeps potential bad-doers in line. An interesting point for a study. However, the girls who lit a fire in a garbage can yestserday, definitely deserved theirs. They're lucky they weren't expelled. But I can't say it's bizarre. Lighting fires is FUN!!

Uh....

And this is just the beginning!! So many thoughts, so little organization in my brain to get them out in a succinct and legible manner. More ramblings another time.

01 April 2003

From Kelly

Hang in there Chris. You are going to have to crack the whip on a regular basis so the kids will take you seriously more.
Argh...beat them with meter sticks! I am still fighting with my computer!!!!

I'm so funny!

On the bright side, I did get my kids with a great April Fool's joke.

I had my kids take out pencils and paper for a "pop quiz". I kept prolonging giving the questions (I was going to read the questions) by asking "Did you write your name at the top?" "Does everyone have a pen?" "Can everyone hear me?" And then I said, "Question 1... What day is today?"

One of the girls in the class said, "April Fool's Day!" while everyone else was writing "April 1st" on their paper.

I said, "Gotcha!"

Humiliation galore

I had my first evalauation today, and the Grade 9s were horrible. No surprises there. But my supervisor was horrible about it all. He said that if he wrote his report based on the first period, things would not look good for my academic career. Thanks. I took the kids to the library to do research. They didn't. No one had a topic for their editorial, so no one had anything to research, so everyone chatted and fooled around instead. The second class went a lot better. They listened for the most part. They took the notes I put on the board. I think they could tell my patience was wearing thin.

But my real problem isn't with cracking down on the kids who are misbehaving, it's that, when I do crack down, Dawn undermines me by cracking a joke. Or I'm finally getting a kid to settle, but she's encouraging their behaviour by chatting with them. It's really frustrating!!

I have another evaluation on the 10th. It'll be better because I'll have the Grade 7s as well, but I'm still going to have to struggle against Dawn for the next 4 weeks. 16 days to go. Just keep breathing.... :

30 March 2003

Is that better?

You asked for it!

No turning back

She's had a week like no other. Not in terms of Drama. It's been a relatively calm week. But I had to return to LHS for practicum, and that sets off a whole chain of events and emotions.

I skipped Day One. I went to a job interview instead. There's not much point in me finishing my practicum if I can't afford to finish my degree! Interview went well. One of the ladies I spoke with worked at Tall Ships with me, so we already have an excellent rapport, which I hope will make up for my glaringly obvious deficiency in regional tourism awareness. How many times can one answer: "Well, my experience with teaching has taught me how to work with many different kinds of people" and hope that it fits questions like "How would you convince someone that they would enjoy a particular tourism site?" I don't think charm can carry me through, because I apparently lost it somewhere between reception and the board room where the interview took place.

Tuesday=Day 2. Didn't sleep Monday night. Typical, of course, since I *had* to be up. And this wasn't like Foundations, where I could just e-mail an excuse to the prof. I had no choice. That always makes it harder for me to drag my sorry ass out of bed. It was all a bit of a blur. I gave spelling tests to the 7s and 9s. I don't care what these new-agey educational philosophers say, I think it's important to know how to spell a word from memory. And it's a good idea to know definitions of words when you plan on using them in sentences. But I'm more about Ms. Nugent's method: Give them fun words, big words, and the words that you always wanted to be able to use. I don't see "Pituitary Gland" as a word necessary to the entire population. And really, do you think it's a good idea to give grade 9s a word like "gonads". They kept asking me to repeat it, and I suspect it had more to do with them wanting to hear their 20-something student teacher say it, than a lack of auditory skills on their part. The Grade 10s were ecstatic to see me back. I really do love that crowd. They love me because I didn't make them do any work when I taught them drama. They'll love me even more as an incompetent French teacher.

Wednesday, another blur. Dawn insisted that I have all of Thursday and Friday planned because she was going to be out on an inservice. Then when I planned everything for this coming week she said "You shouldn't plan that far ahead. You never know when there'll be interruptions. You can still expect a couple of snow days, and you don't want the lesson plan book to be messy." No.... Of course not. : ARGH!!! Joined the "Junior Drama" club as a consultant. They're doing "Hollywood Hotel." I haven't read the last half yet, but it seems amusing enough so far. I'm just there for support and suggestiong. The supervisor of the club seemed to think I wanted to take over when I suggested helping out. I'm not trying to upstage her, though. I just want to be involved. I'm in no mood to sit on my ass like I did last semester. I don't want to get home at 3 every day so I can tear my hair out from loneliness. No, sir. This semester will be different.

Thursday=relief. I really enjoy it much more when Dawn isn't there. I feel like I have more control. She never says anything, but I feel judged by here. And it's a paradox, because she needs to observe so she can evaluate me, but I do my best teaching when she's not there; when it's just me and the kids. I helped the grade 7s in math. Makes me feel like a genius. I AM THE FRACTION QUEEN!!! Why couldn't high school math be like that? And really, when was the last time I used a quadratic equation in everyday life? I used fractions today when I baked cornmeal muffins, but so far calculus has not been used functionally in my post-secondary career. I drove to WV for the evening to see Estelle and Poochie in the passion play at the chapel. My friends=good. Play=a little dry. But I was kept in stiches the entire time by the people I knew, as I watched them parade around in short "tunics". I have to apologize to Steph and Kevin -- I know it wasn't your cup of "tea", but I appreciate you accompanying me all the same. Got home post-midnight, after driving a shitty back-highway in torrential rains. Fun, fun.

Friday. Easy day. Didn't have the Grade 9s. I suspect I'm going to like Day 4s. :) I had the Grade 7s and we had fun. I tell them what to do, they do it. They're angels. I came up with a project for Grade 10s. A board game. I like projects that combine learned knowledge with creativity. I'm really excited to assign it. Although it will burst their "Ms. E doesn't make us do work" bubble. But it's not the same as last term. I disagreed with their teacher's Drama methods. If the kids hate something in Drama, it's not working and should be dropped. This doesn't apply to all subjects, because some concepts are important, no matter how tedious they are. However, I believe that Drama should be fun, and there's no reason to make it seem dull, repetetive and ludicrous. I hate Mrs. Sanford for doing that to them. :@ In the afternoon I sat with the Grade 7 Band class and we chatted about social mannerisms, the war, and Kurt Cobain. Well, I told them who Kurt Cobain was. It's situations like that when I most fear becoming lame. I used him as an example of a celebrity who HAD to die young in order to stay relevant. Well, my point was disproved by the 13 year-olds who never heard of him. Sigh. After school, a quick run in to the city to chill with Kelly before heading out to see the high school musical at The Heart. They did High Society, and it was GREAT!! I was so proud of Mairéad. She makes an excellent socialite matriarch. And a voice like a goddess. Afterward, we met Rick and Katie for coffee. But I was exhausted by 11, and just wanted to go home.

After yesterday's quarantine, I wish I'd stayed out longer. But I had my lazy day, even if there was still stress.

Entries might get more sporadic now that I'm relegated to dial-up during the week. Maybe the other bloggers on this forum could help out by contributing a bit. For example, does anyone want to talk about recent interview experiences, or comment on the need to understand diverse cultures? War ramblings, perhaps? Any desire to throw stones at stupid boys? The world is waiting. Tell all!

29 March 2003

From Kelly

where has Christine gone???

20 March 2003

Rage

I don't know what happened to my blog. I minimized the window, and when I reopened it, my blog was gone. Less than 30 seconds and it all disappeared.

Sigh. Let's try again. Humiliating details are as follows: No, Kelly, I did not reunite with Tom. Quite frankly, I'm insulted that you would suggest that. I hope I'm more stable than to reinsert myself into a relationship that I know to be destructive. Even if I *did* believe he's capable of changing (which I don't), I'm not interested in being the one to change him, or in testing to see if that change is thorough and sincere. In the back of my mind, I was hoping that he'd be at the bar on Tuesday. He usually is. A small voice in the back of my mind was whispering how much fun it would be to watch him react to my presence. And it's true. It's generally an unpleasant encounter, but at the same time, he acts like that because I obviously still have the power to affect him. He despises that the most. But I knew it was false self-esteem. I was relieved when we got there and he wasn't. It was wrong to want to rile him. And I ultimately know that it wouldn't be fun. It would have been horrible, especially since he's so unpredictable. I mean, I never would have guessed that he was capable of a physical pseudo-assault. Every time I see him, there seems to be an escalation in his reaction.

Oliva asked yesterday if I ever felt threatened by him. I didn't have to blink. Of course I do. A month of verbal abuse, plus the nasty in-person encounters makes for a scared me. I told Olivia the whole story yesterday. She was pretty appalled at Tom's behaviour, especially when I told her how old he was. She applauded my initiative in detatching even though, emotionally, I was still engaged. She asked me how I plan to avoid similar relationships in the future. Now, I've always hated that question. I don't really think people should have an inventory of what they want in a mate, because it just sets unrealistic expectations. But she said to look at in terms of what I want to avoid. We only listed a couple of things, but they're pretty important.

Next boyfriend must have: Ambition to work towards REALISTIC goals; Sympathy for my neurosis; a REAL sense of humour -- not just someone who derides everyone because they think it's funny; a reasonable level of emotional maturity. It's a short list to start, but I'm not trying to exclude every male on the planet. Just the fuckwits I usually seem to attract.

Went to Open Mic Night last night. It was the last one for a lot of 2nd Years. Steve sang. That made me happy. Despite his self-deprecation, he has a nice voice, and plays really well. I had a good time, but that's when we found out that the US had started their attack on Iraq. This does NOT make me happy. I don't like war. I don't think it's necessary. I think there are other ways to handle conflicts. Look at it this way: How many times have you been able to bring someone around to your point of view by punching them in the nose? My guess is never. They may SAY they agree, while they secretly plot your demise, but the only way to really change someone's point of view is with words. I don't agree with this war at all. I disagree with attacking a population that is completely defenseless, and as no control over its government. I don't accept "Collateral Damage" as a necessary by-product of war.

I have to stop right now. I'm getting really upset about this. Maybe more about the subject later, maybe not.

19 March 2003

From Kelly

I am waiting for details. It looks as though Christine is going to be a "magical face painter" on Friday. I am going to be in charge of "magical basketball that is not really magical." Cheers to the chaos. Ed the horse will be there so that should be interesting (to have everyone in the same room). I shall casually observe for traces of drama ;) By the way....EXPLAIN THE ULTERIOR MOTIVE DAMMIT!

18 March 2003

Push bottle to self-destruct

Am I really going to drink again tonight? Probably. Should I? No. Am I capable of doing something I shouldn't right now? You bet!

Stay tuned for more exciting details!

Once again....

It worked!

How about... now!

I'm having serious problems posting, so I'm typing something arbitrary to see if it'll work.

There's a lock on my door

So much to write.

So, Thursday, I went to the Ed. semi-formal and drank entirely too much. I had a good time. I think. I don't remember having a *bad* time. I remember not liking a couple of things, but nothing that ruined the evening. Firstly, I wasn't impressed with Phil's girlfriend. I expected her to be a lot more outgoing and friendly, I guess mainly because he is, and I thought his gf would be similar, since they've been together for 5 years. No such luck. Whatever. It's not like she has a major impact on socializing since she's in school 3 hours away. Secondly, I really shouldn't have let Charles stay at my apt. I'd offered him way back in January, that if he ever wanted to stay in town for social activities, he could crash on my futon. I started feeling uncomfortable about it after class on Thursday, when we went up to my apt and sat around watching tv. I resented the restriction on my liberties. I couldn't run out when I wanted, I couldn't wander around nude.... I was just generally uncomfortable. And after the dance, Charles was CRANKY! He kept saying, "Maybe I'll just drive home tonight", and I kept praying that he would. But when we got back to my place (he had to come in and get his stuff anyway), he just said, "Nah, I might as well stay." ARGH! I locked myself in my bedroom and talked to Foo for a while, and then went to bed. He left in the morning just as I was getting up, which was great, because I didn't want to deal with him at all. Lesson learned. He can crash somewhere else in the future.

Kelly seems to think I'm ignoring or avoiding her. Not my intention. I've been pretty busy. Between schoolwork, and figuring out my practicum, and my broken car, and being social, and stressing over going away again, and the "impending" war, and fixing people, and the list goes on and on and on... I couldn't find the time. Yet, it's interesting; nothing really happened in the last week or so. No interesting stories. I wasn't feeling like myself. I had a migraine one night, and that screws up my brain for days.

Friday was fun. My French class went to U Ste Anne for a trip to the CPRP, and to an Acadian restaurant for lunch. I spoke a whole lotta French, and ate a traditional Acadian dish "Rapure de la poule" -- it was interesting.... It kinda felt a like a jellyfish, and was waaaaaay too salty. I didn't despise it, but I don't think I'll eat it again. Or even look at it, if I can avoid it. Steph and I had an interesting time. We were both a little hung over from the semi the night before, and it made for an interesting commute. It's a 2 hour drive to SA, and the sun was shining brightly, and we were running on 5 hours sleep, and no shower. It was painful, but a whole lot of fun. Then I went to NM with Steph and Kevin. We needed grease for our hangovers, and we needed to socialize. Steph also took me to the grocery store, which is great because I was in desperate need for food at the apt. We ended up watching movies at Kevin's. "10 Things I Hate About you" and "Dirty Work". Great movies. I actually dozed off during DW, which is something I never do. It felt nice though. I was exhausted.

I got my car back yesterday. Final tab: 2256.66 CAD. My bank account is very sad. But the car looks great! They polished in and vaccumed and dusted the interior. It almost has a bit of the "new car smell" back. :) I missed driving. I'm so spoiled. I don't know how to live without my vehicle. I assume I'd learn pretty quickly if it were a long term thing, but I suspect I'd just waste all my money on cabs. But I did take the bus into the city yesterday to pick up my car. It's more expensive one way than the round-trip 10 bucks it costs me to drive, but at least I don't have to be alert. However, in the future I'd prefer that my driver NOT be counting tickets and doing paperwork while he's supposed to be driving.

I think everyone is going to abandon me tonight. This was supposed to be *my* night. My pre-practicum, pre-birthday (since everyone will be away for it) bash! But everyone is either hung over from St. Patrick's Day, or they've been procrastinating and now they have to get all their work done tonight. I'm feeling a little resentful about this. I'm trying to be objective, I'm trying to evaluate my motives for wanting to go out tonight and gauge why it's so important. I mostly really want to hang out with certain people before I leave, but I suspect that there's an ulterior motive that I can't put to bed. Maybe I should just let it go.

17 March 2003

From Katie

HAPPY ST. PATRICK'S DAY!!
I agree Kelly the play was fantastic! I would love to do a musical one day, unfortunatly I can't sing :S oh well.
Chris, what has become of Estelle? No blogs there since Tuesday, I grow concerned. Hope your weekend went well.

16 March 2003

From Kelly

The play was great. It was about this guy who thought he maybe gay..but he got married anyway..and his marriage fails because of his sexuality. It was pretty funny though. It was sad, yet entertaining. They did a great job. I am doubting Christine's love for me. She has been "busy" and away a lot. Was it something I said..or did..you can tell me. I went to my happy place today (my camp). It was nice to go skating down there. I am spiritually recharged now. Pretty sweet eh? Blog me baby.

15 March 2003

From Kelly

Please love me..snif snif

From Kelly

What would you like me to say? Work work..school...work..school work...work.argh. I have nothing worth jotting about. I am going to that play tonight. That should be fun. I will tell you how it was....Sunday off!!!!! That is sooo sweet. *sigh* Who was this stranger anyways? Guy or girl? How did they land at your place? This isn't like you Christine. I am frightened.

14 March 2003

Some day I'll mean it

Holy! How many times do I say "I'm not going to have anything tonight" and then stumble home in a stupor?

Went to the semi-formal last night. It was a lot more fun than I expected. But it was really strange because I let someone crash at my place, and I'm not entirely sure I was comfortable with them there. I locked my bedroom door when I went to bed. I was that paranoid.

I had a whole lot to write earlier, but now I can't think. I'll save the stories for later.

11 March 2003

Resurfaced

I'm back! Finally. After all that, I finally made to back to school. Of course, I missed both my classes today. But it wouldn't be a week if I didn't miss class. Nina says it was deadly anyway. Horrible guest speaker. Gee too bad I missed that for dinner with Steve. He came and picked me up in the DarkSide, and drove me all the way back. Isn't he amazing? Nina's a lucky gal!

Today was another slow day. And I'm exhausted, so I think I'm going to hit the hay in a few. Freshly washed sheets. This will be nice. :)

10 March 2003

Close call

I totally forgot!! March Break means no school for kiddies. At least I remembered before I ventured across te bridge. If I'd arrived and discovered the school closed. I would have been one disappointed, cranky-ass bitch.

More so than usual, I mean. :|

Mmm.... Cookies!

Man, what a useless day I had yesterday. I did accomplish some things, which felt good. I did laundry and got some homework done, but in terms of my contribution to society...? Well, I didn't even leave the house and the only human contact I had wasn't until 9 p.m. Maybe I did the world more good by staying in. It would appear that when I venture out, bad things happen, but this is only based on 2 days of relative seclusion, so the results are hardly reliable as of yet. However, the X-Files marathon was certainly invigorating, if not a little unnerving. We watched a couple of freaky episodes ("Space", in particular) that kept me up for a little while, trying to get that face out of my mind whenever I closed my eyes. I'm still enjoying the drinking game, even if it is getting a little hard to keep track of. One of these days, Lew and I might actually manage some alcohol. But probably not in the near future. We'll see what happens next week....

I'm thinking of visiting the Heart today. I think that some times with young children would help immensely. And even though I do have tons to do, I think I'd rather be frivolous and have some kid fun. I can't decide now if it's anxiety or PMS. I'm tempted to go with the latter, since that's something I can't really control myself. I just have to wait it out and stay patient. Although, that's hard to do when verbal onslaughts burst out of thin air at you. Ten minutes of breathing and an understanding of human nature can do wonders for maintaining rational thought. I feel like avoiding future rages, but I know that's probably counterproductive in some way or another. I'll just immerse myself in Jane Stuart's world until the storm passes. Now *that* girl had a sad life. I can't imagine living with someone who never met your emotional needs, and actually went out of their way to crush your spirit -- ON PURPOSE. Hmmm. Now I'm thinking of foregoing the Heart and reading more about Jane.... But maybe society will offer up something good today.

Okay. Decision made. The Heart it is. Maybe it'll restore some of mine. And if not, at least I can pig out on cookies all afternoon.... :D

09 March 2003

From Kelly

snif snif..mucus-filled me has entered the building. Damn this cold. Thanks for the cake Christine..it was good, although I have to be honest, it made me feel guilty for eating it at 10:30 pm. I also felt guilty for feeling guilty and this is why...I am reading a book about the history of American girl's bodies(The Body Project). It hits home in a lot of ways. I recommend it to the girls that I know. It is sick in some ways. Society knows that it is fucking up girls through media and consumerism, but nobody is really doing anything. 15 year olds are developing faster and earlier because of better nutrition and because of this they are sexualized sooner. Television and magazines are saying: "You have to look like this to be considered beautiful," while your parents are saying:"Don't grow up too fast, you are still a kid." So what the hell are you supposed to do? Are you supposed to try and hang on to childhood while everyone around you gets make up, bras, and skanky clothes? Girls are competeing with air-brushed models, but they also take what they "learn" from tv and magazines and compete with each other. ARgh!That is sad. So it is bad enough that I feel gulity for eating cake so late at night, but then I feel guilty about feeling guilty because I don't want to carry on the torch of the concept: "I have to be thin to be attractive."That is my ramble for now I guess.

We did it!!

24 hours, disaster-free!! I bought a cake to celebrate. I was going to make one, but I was afraid I might burn down the house. I went to Sobeys to pick up some eggs and milk and other staple foods, and when I walked through the bakery, all these lovely, creamy-icing-y cakes started beckoning. "Coooommmmmme! Eeeeeeaaaaaat! Yuuuuummmmmmmyyyyyy!" So I got one. I had them write on it too. There was one that said "Celebrate the day" so I had them write that on the cake I chose. It seemed fitting. Since this is the day I felt like celebrating. Kelly, Rick, and Katie came over and we watched a movie and ate celebration cake. It was a nice day.

I'm still waiting for that mircale to save me from my car expenses, though. I'm not holding my breath.

I did my taxes today. Even more disappointing than last year. My 2001 taxes afforded me a refund of a whopping $2.58. It probably cost the government more to process the cheque. I would have been fine without the money. They should have used to build affordable housing or something. This year I'll get all of zero. I barely made $1000 last year.. How unreal is that? And I worked so little per week that none of my pay went to CPP or EI. They didn't even take any off for Income Tax contributions. I'll doubt I'll have some kind of miracle adjustment. I thought my tuition would make some kind of difference but, apparently, the less you make, the less you need to deduct your tuition. That seems backwards to me. Maybe if I offer my tuition credits to my dad, I can strike some kind of deal for compensation. Now's the time to make pity deals.

Hockey Night in Canada is telling me that Doug Gilmore is thinking of retiring. Maybe I was wrong about today. The disaster has revealed itself. All that wasted cake!

07 March 2003

Looking for the Silver Lining

Okay, now I don't want to sound like a whiner, but really, this has been a shitty week. Shall I run it down?

First, a staple of the university community passed away. No direction connection to myself, but I am linked through Estelle.

Second, a missing housemate of the Estelle was found dead after being missing for a few days.

Third, the stress and strain of university life all comes crashing down in the one week, coupled with wanting to support those who need it (that's not a bad thing, just difficult).

Fourth, a professor is cancelling assignments and ending the class early. He's sick and needs surgery. This is upsetting. I'm sure there are people cheering that they don't have to write 6-8 page papers, but I'd rather have a healthy prof.

Fifth, car accident. Estimate cites more than $2200 in damage -- and that's just the initial look-see. Once they start replacing things, they might find more....

Sixth, I got an e-mail this morning from my friend in Toronto. Her mother-in-law-to-be died early this morning of cancer. Less than a year after diagnosis. While she was trying to help Jenn and Justin plan the wedding. No details on what will happen. I wish I could go to the funeral. Why are planes so expensive?

So, yes. That's it so far. I'm hoping that Sunday will bring an upswing. I'm pretty tired of all this.

06 March 2003

What a day, what a day!

Week started off pretty interesting, got bad, then worse. Today the car, the beautiful, wonderful machine that I love so dearly... well, it got sick. And by sick, I mean it hit a snowbank and killed the bumper. I was driving along, minding my own business, when I hit a patch of ice, the car slid, picked up speed, and BANG! I collided with the snowbank. It basically peeled the bumper off the car. It's at a collision centre now. The eyeball estimate is $1500. But that's assuming they only have to replace the bumper. If there's any structural damage, I could be a very sad girl, financially. But I'm okay. The hardest part was driving the car into the city from MB. The wheel well kept scraping against the tire. I think I lost a couple of layers of tread. :(

But I'm home safely, for a weekend of my puppy, and craziness with my friends. Or maybe I'll curl up into a ball and pray that this doesn't cost too much. Pray for me.

My thoughts are with the Estelle. I miss her and hope she's okay. And to Steve for talking me out of my crazy tree so I was in a driving state of mind.

Note to the readers: Bumpers are extraneous anyway... as long as you don't plan to hit anything.

Barely human

I'm f'in tired, and don't have much stamina.

I had a shite, cranky evening, but I feel better for having spent time with the Estelle, who generally manages to make me feel slightly human again -- although I've never been completely human.... I just wanted to thank her publically. She's a rare breed, that one. God may have made her from all the leftover parts, but they're the ones that were too good for the other animals. Take that, marsupials!

Parting thought for the evening: Tell someone you love that you love them. Tell them you miss them when they're not around. Remind them how important they are to you. If they're good enough to love, they're good enough to know that. Scratch that. You're lucky to have someone to love, and you'd better be grateful!!

05 March 2003

From Kelly

I am getting all teary eyed....I never..snif...had..snif..someone that trusted me ...like you do......*sob*

Leap of faith

Kelly gets to be an administrator. As long as she's responsible and doesn't abuse her powers like me. I mean, like a tyrant. I mean....

From Kelly

Hello Christine..aka ....spastic whore..oops..was I not supposed to write that? Oh well, it is all out in the open now....what will happen your precious reputation?? I am just going on and on now. So what is this "blog-a-ma-jigger?" A place for me to post your naughty secrets?? Mooooo ha ha ha ha. Kidding..your track record is pretty clean... except for attempted murder. Next time, try a smaller murder weapon... a car... just doesn't cut it. Oh no....the cops are knocking on my door because of what I just wrote.... I GOTTA GO!

I'm not sure I like this

I had another time-out experience this morning. Very frustrating. Note to self: Copy blog to clipboard before posting to avoid this problem in the future.

Well, I've just been accused of being a "follower" for creating a blog in tandem with EVERYone else. :) To Robyn, I say, it's true. I'm testing out the atmosphere on the bandwagon. I don't know if I'll stay on board, but I'm going to enjoy the ride for a little while.

So, this morning I went to talk to someone about my life's direction. Always an interesting conversation. I was made the following suggestions: Take a career interest test. Read "this". Come back next week. I like when a total stranger makes demands on my time. Makes me feel important. What's even better, though, is that I wasn't made to feel... subnormal for being uncertain about what I'm doing and where I'm going. However, she says we need to "explore the issues behind my restlessness." Oh, goodie.

My comp is just about driving me up the wall. It sounds like the fan is coming loose and it makes this horrible buzzing sound at random. Like a far-off chainsaw massacre. If it doesn't stop, I'm going to throw it through a wall! Obviously I could bring it down to user support, but it behaves most of the time. It's just at times like this, when I'm trying to concentrate.

So, how's this for creepy: I was on Kazaa the other day, downloading and sharing files, just like any other day, and I click to clear my list of uploads. And then I stop, and take a look at what people were downloading. Someone downloaded my resume!! I'll admit my stupidity in not realizing that I was sharing the folder in which it was saved, but it's still odd that someone would download it, isn't it? Now they know where I live, and my work history. I'm wondering if I should be alerting past employers that there's a stranger out there who knows where I live and where I've worked. Man. The internet has never made me paranoid before. I shop online. I ignore security warnings. I've never had a problem. Now I'm freaked out. :( And I didn't think to send the bastard a message asking why he downloaded it. I doubt he would have responded if it were for malicious purposes. But who knows? Maybe he just needs to type a resume and wants to model his on mine (notice how I assume the lazy git is a male). Or copy my work history. Luckily I type my references up separately (i.e., don't keep a file saved) everytime I hand my resume out.

On Kelly's suggestion, I'm going to look into "sharing" my blog. I'm not sure how you pronounce that word. It's a novel concept for me. But we'll see what surfaces.

Stay tuned....

Genesis

Hmmm. Frustration.

I spent much time writing a blog, but it's gone. It disappeared into cyberspace. My very first blog timed out. It wasn't long, I was just doing many things while I wrote. NO ONE TOLD ME THIS THING TIMES OUT!!!

Venting complete.

Thanks to Kelly for calling me spastic. It was hard to come up with a website name. I appreciate the help. To the Steve, thanks for calling me pretty. You have me wrapped around your little finger....

Vienna Sausages will be the downfall of me. Note to the viewers: They are not a good meal replacement. My mind says, "Open the can of fruit", but my body says, "The easy-to-open pull-tab is so much faster." I do this way to often. Such unhealthy behaviour. It's right up there with running your ex (Tom) over with a car, and having a narcoleptic pilot your plane over a minefield....

To close, a word to the wise: 4 minutes in a Cesna is not enough time time to get you far away from a nuclear blast, not is a rock a suitable shield from said blast.

G'night!